@jaronmyers - How to Add 11 Years to Your Life w/ Jaron Myers

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

In this episode, we talk to Jaron Meyers. He's a comedian with 1M+ followers all over the internet. The viral Chick-Fil-A rap video? That was him. The guy that did a blind first date on stage at one of his shows? That was him too. He's hilarious. He's thoughtful. He's incredibly smart. You're gonna love this episode.

You can find Jaron on TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, his podcast, or all over the internet here.

Welcome to the very first episode ofyoung married christian at young are christian. We are in a mission to see agospel centered home made available for every single child in the foster caresystem, and in this episode, you're going to hear debo talk to jaren myersjaron is famous all over the internet. I think he's got over a millionfollowers on tick dock, get a video. A chick fillet wrap go viral a coupleyears ago. I think it had like over seventy five million views on facebook.He literally blew up a car in that video. So sorry, if that was your car,but so one of the interesting parts of this conversation, one of the thingsthat i got a lot of value from was hearing jar, an talk about a strategythat churches can take to engage their communities by partnering withentertainers and comedians yeah, very cool. He also talks against hustleculture and instead of working to rest working from rest, which is a veryinteresting take on the sabbath so hold on to your prayer, beats tiffanybecause we are young marry on to rise, so we almost got faked out with tacobell earlier today we did. We thought that that was james secret, which is afun bit. That's a really funny thing if you say we're going to this like localplace, and then you go to a too that's a funny bit. I would have respected theheck out of that. You know and he's like walking us everywhere, likeactually like he's on mat, he's a yahte way. This little or love hako place.Okay, so i especially their potatoes they're like cheese potatoes. They onlyhere in orlando and you know, and then you're hypertufa, and then you walk inand that's hilarious, and it was a time belt cantina. So you're like a this is,is that what fancy tabuai mean yeah? I guess the only one i lyoe one iknow of is vegas the cantino. It's got to be. It's got to be talk about fancyyeah there. There was a thing that mcdonald's tried out with, so it wasjust indiana kentucky only it was a mcdonald's diner. Why would they do itin indiana kentucky only because we will eat anything? So i i like you knowthese people, the d date night options, the ones you sat down at the table andyou had a telephone e. You would call the server and was like steak and shakeit's diner style and they had like a full mina like youcould get like a meat, love or a rose. You want get a mick meat loaf. Is thatwhat you're telling me you would in order and make me love? That'sdisgusting, okay! So the question is this: we orthaeus, i no answer it is it. Let's say i even believe theyhad meat. Look from the town, here's! What i know happened: okay! They didnot serve me of okay. It's just that. You were trying to think out fancydinner option. You were like what a fansy restaurants or think you went.They had like me. Lo, like you couldn't say like they had like a fish, they hada steak. You with me lo. Lo nilo was on the menu once aweek at my house. So and i want just go to i go to that. I go to meet im and igo to salisbury state. Have you had cracker barrels made love foorces, getbiscuits and gravy? Oh you! So what's the question outside of taco bell and bols? Maybethat's your answer. Favorite fast food, restaurant otherthan chaplain okay, so i actually don't eat taco, bell or mcdonald's anymore,koulas, nothing against topee against them,because diksy got a surviving in college. Yeah yeah there is true armanieat a you, a lot opole. I prefer kudoo over poland, but thetalas across the street. And then oh, you know my favorite. One is an the express, so i will eat pan theexpress everything. Okay straight i so right now they got a speaking trip.Walk, i'm not even i'm not even paid to say this snuff, i'm just out here likewhat some an o express is wheres. I become a regular, my pates wot. I thinkif you look into the camera, while you're saying it, though it mightbecome something you get paid for paynees painted express. Are you doin the background? No, i justtry and i do so. Ackrill do paines. Okay, here ago,...

...but you don't heedess express, i was go, i'm goin t make sure say heto express yourself. Is that a thing can we that, like to here so manythings, i quittai thinking the same thing in my head? Honestly, i'm likewe've already mentioned too many things, so we'll go to something that we knowpeople for you to, so they would have to hear this podcast hey and that wouldbe version. L tell ten. What of the old people who listen to is paying theexpress headquarters when they're not trying to like put their lawsuittogether against, for, like o, were the five people that listen to it? It wastocoi mcdonald's, dr the guy, who came up with the mcinerny. Ah, the creatorof a a et love me just make in front of everything, mikeof and actually was one of the viewers to yeah. I feel like a actually aplated yeah. He was like well, i feel like they're kind of bring me up andthen he listens to that part and he's like do it. I think that your panexpress song could get as big as your cheek for la out and i think he hasthat potential. I think that i should do a pain express on. I agree. The onlyreason would be here's the thing, i'm tired of doing stuff for thesecompanies and not getting free through out of it. I because that you're asked that's whatmy ask for paying ers press and express if you see this i'll, do anything for free food. Sowhen your video yeah viral, with wit, chipola, yes, there wasn't a hey, youcan eat three once a week you can get well. So s like you, get an extranugget every time you an extra rigour to the drive through as many times justget that one time o yeah, because a frulini buy one eight count for mygirlfriend and then we got to go to the line. Eight different times like to getsmall fries each time, two gallons of yeah and a free eight count. I wouldlike one eight count nugget please and then you drive through a second time. Ilike a small fry. So you that's, let's see four small fries two drinks, that'ssix extra nuggets and then yogurt parphasis, i guess for dessertor the peach milk shake when its season ally. That is true or the cookie hey,listen round. They don't like me that much we got to get off chikula, i'm sc,you know so, wait they don't love you! Well! Yes, they do. Okay, like me, ifeel like there's more they like me, but they didn't know. I was going to dothe video, so i put it out and then so we put a video on thursday. Okay. Thatsaturday, i got a phone call and from unknown number to me it was just aatlantic number. I answered it and she's like hey. This is kristen withchick flap r. I was wondering where you film that video and i was like wellkristen you're, calling me on my private cell phone number. So i feel,like you know, and i said so- i'm going to hang up. I'm gonna call you back inlike twenty minutes. She's like oh okay, you hung up on that yeah. I had to callmy lawyer and be like listen. Am i going to go like a? I gonnas me forlike fifty and dollars whatever that's like. Hang up on god's knees, yeah!It's like ending your prayer with like okay, it's like onofre, i hung up. Isaid: okay, i'm gonna call you back in twenty minutes. She's like okay thanks.I was like okay, amen and hocus. I know who i'm talking to right and so yeah. I called my lawyer friend andi said: hey am i going to get sued for this, and so we had done all the thingson our end. To make sure that that was a good to go situation, but we askedsomebody who i guess it wasn't their permission to tell us. Yes. Does thatmake sense, so they should have. They should have the person that i asked ishe has guy in front of chick the leg yeah. I just said: hey, you hang outhere a lot. Do you think this is all right? No, i asked the people at thatstore and they should have asked corporate and corporate would have beenlike no, but they didn't so. But i did the my due diligence of asking, and soi was already i was covered so and he was just a nice guy. You know,and i saw he was like yeah. We would love for that to happen. He was yeah,he was. He was like hey anything. We could do to help your career. I think so he knew this was your career.This wasn't just like a dream, like you were just some random guy, like so o mydream to do a rap in chickle. Well, at the time i ate chickfield, they namelike that was so at the time i was treating chick flo the way i now treatpan to express where i was there every day. So every time you say, pant express wejust look in at the camera, pay parks and reck tyle anyway, so i was ein there every day andeventually he goes hey you're here, like breakfast and lunch and sometimesdinner like all in the same day, which means that you, you don't have a joblike he was like he's like you either. Could i would i would really i would bethere three meals a day s and it's like...

...for that schedule of work. I've got tobe doing nothing sundays. You were starving. No. I bought ten two meals onsaturday, so on sunday reheat it obviously i'm not an amateur and so no, but he noticed that was there a lotand he was like. So what do you do? We got the conversation about like i'm acomedian and he was like that's awesome. I you know, i became he was doing thewhole community building thing, and so we got to know each other he's likeanything. I can do to help and then i was like. Actually you know, maybe wecould do a music, video or whatever so yeah i got you know we wrote the lyricswrote the song. I came up with the idea in march of thousand and seventeen andthen it came out in november of two sand and seventeen. So a lot of peopledon't know the work that goes into these kind of things. So so we recorded it in the summer. So i had, i had a friend who's like anactual wrapper, make the beat, and then i gave him my lyrics and he was likethese are rough. I like not the originally well, they are, but hehelped me make them fit into a rap. Does that make sense instead of beinglike? You know, i don't know like i. I don'teven remember what the original flow was, but he helped me fit it into thein two tousand and seventeen. A rap was very on par with the trinity songs yeahnow it definitely sounds like a two does and seventeen song, which is a which is fine, because itwas great fit seventeen. It a be an nostalgic it be playing in the clubs inten years. Eu. I hope that'd be awesome. I don't anyway. So all the people inthe clubs are like chikula like they love it. I singe clubs attach a chick play, it'd,be like a different club, chick file. It's like the restaurants, thare tryingto do yeah different thing yeah. You know we put the song out in novemberand we recorded the video in october. So i sat on a video for a month andthen we put it out right before thanksgiving, because i figure peoplewould be home on their phones at thanksgiving. That's what you dothanksgiving. Is you just avoid your family? You eat a lot a lot to avoidtalking a thanksgiving. What i do is i leanforward and say something controversial and then lean back and like leteverything erupt. Okay, so you have an example: if li is your family dividedon stuff, my family was like you know: everyone's got real strong opinions. Ohyou know. Yes, yes, especially when it's like a election year yeah, it'sexactly do a skip this year, dude! So i don't that's the years. I lean it likei go to dinner as a resselah, you do i'm like eating potatoes and i was likei'm just in oh yeah. You know, i don't know, i just think they should take ourguns like looking around you know and likelike it's funny. Your uncles are fist fighting your grandma's trying tosmooth it over she's like i've got pie you're like is it m peach cobbler? You know and it's it's fun. We i have the same family so with the whole chick fillet. You knowvideo, you go viral, you explode and that's kind of your first break yeah.What what happens after that at that time in two sand and seventeen facebookviews kind of mattered, and so now it's a lot harder to get those kind of viewson facebook. But at that time that video ended up with, like seventyfive million views on it. Just in like the first couple months in the firstweek it got five million on my page, and that was like. That was a bignumber. You know, and so i guess in my mind, i'd alwayswhich i knew was going to happen. We d to the chick flay rap. I knew while wewere making that like we set a real car on fire and i was like i think this isgoing to hit pretty hard and so in my head. You know, because i have been doingstand up since he was in fourteen a d. So that's three years kind of buildingup to this and in my head all i needed was a video to go viral and then iwould be on late night shows, and i would you know, then i'd be able to goout and do you know anywhere and keep people toshow up and what happened. There's a shift in theinternet where, having a viral video one, it got shared by a bunch of pages,and so then i became like the chick fillet guy, which is why they called me.They called me because they didn't want me to be the chick fule guy becausethey didn't want like they didn't want me to be like associated with theirbrand. They don't want to check the lay to become a subway, yes, honestly andso that they didn't want to have like a guy, especially if i didn't work forthem so, but to a lot of people. That's the onlything they knew me from so then it became a challenge of now. I've got toget these people who have seen this video to know that i do stand up and toknow that i do other things and that has honestly been what the last fouryears have been is trying to not be the chick ful le guy and so which is fine.I mean, but h, it's fun when people...

...will see my new content and thenthey'll comment be like wait. Is that the hat the chick flag guy and icondone like yeah- i do other stuff- you know say i have a whole array. Iyeah i do yeah. I do a lot of stuff yeah. I got too much, sometimes yeah. Ifeel like diving into your pages. Your sketches are something that kind ofstick out to me as far as a very highly produced like the production valuesphenomenal. Thank you and i'm seeing this stuff thinking. Oh my goodness,this is one of the best stuff i've seen you talk about chick file, yourrelationship with them. What about dave ramsey? Because one of your videos, imean you go into day, ran well, so, basically, what i've tried to do is. Ihave because there's a few of these thingsthat have cult following stave rams is one o the things that as a cultfollowing right. So my strategy was, if i can do a video that is, that hits that colt then they'll share it among each otherand that'll, then, because, obviously they're they're, the people who justlike radically support something so i'm kind of like hey. Won't. You run aclose support me. You know i live in orlando, i know yes, i do dofor sure. So if i can do things that are around that kind of the kind ofperson that sounds bad, but you know you don't even talk about like the kindof person who's already following something an if i can make somethingthat is for them, and i can and i you know, my parents got dead free becausethe day ramsey stuff, so that was stuff that, like i knew, and so i didfinancial peace, university, yeah, yeah yeah, so i was like oh, i know this,i'm a part of this and it's a way of like hey. I have thatshared experience. I remember what this is like. This is a funny kind of pokingfun at it thing, and i know that there's an audience for it already, andso, but that's the other side of that is. I got seventy five million views onthe chick flay rap. The dave ramsey thing i hit hard in the day, rinsocommunity, a lot of people shared it and all this groups or whatever, and itgot some views, but it's still it's it didn't becomethe thing where all of a sudden, i was touring and doing this as like a greatliving you know and which was something that was discouraging in two thousand andseventeen was now people it's hard to describe this, because people willassociate millions of views with money, so they think that you got a bunch ofviews. That means that you're, rich, oh yeah and so right, which is, i wouldthink, looking at your chick fillet and just your dave, ramsey alone, like oh,this guys he's made it right. You d, i m sure, that's what anyone listening tothis that sees the episode called jerry myers is thinking that guy's made it hehe did. He has like humbled himself to talk to this. Oh, i thought you were. Ithought you were saying that this podcast was the peak that you're likewere like whoa he's on this podcast. Oh, you know that's how they all acted. The like wow,but that's honestly, like something i love about you know this show is thatto me seems like we're getting a normal guy in front of someone who is like aoh, my gosh, and you know i was thinking about it earlier, like wow,that's kind of how we are as christians with god and just like, so in this inthat ere. Now, in the analysis, the analogy is notperfect. I like that one. I like that analogy. We should use that. I likethat. I think that that's why the these shows these types of shows work. Sureyou know like the joe regan experience, because people want to feel like theyknow you, oh yeah they want to. They want to feel like they can hear just anormal conversation with you and so hearing something like. Oh, i haven'tgot it all together after one video shows up. So what is life like for you?Then? If it's not just, i don't need money all day long. I think that there is a part of the internet thatsells that the hustle culture sells this. You knowwork until you. Don't have to kind of thing yeah and so there's the idea thatyou'll work eighty hours a week, ninety hours a week and then one day, you'lljust coast, and i have found that one, that's acomplete lie. What there's their capitalizing on the way they're makingmoney? Is you buying their course? They don't actually do anything else, but no,you know, i think that people, the average person, doesn't know thework that goes into a lot of what i do and especially stand up just as an artform. People think we get on stage and just kind of talk, but they don't know that i have a storegot possums in my show, it's a ten minute story. Okay and they don't knowthat for a year i did it as raccoons andt. I was like. I got these picturesof raccoons on my phone and you know i...

...tried the and it was funny and it works.And then one day i switch is to possum and the word possum is funnier thanraccoon, because people he's got ellet. Well, not. That is just got that? Usound like the word. The word pickle is funnier than the word cucumber likepoopoo, yes, honestly yeah, so people don't know the art of when youjust switch one word and you're trying that out in front of audiences and thenyou switch something and it works better and then so then you do it thesame way. Every time so you're constantly re crafting yeah people,don't people think that we're just getting up and telling stories, butwe're telling stories in a very methodical practiced way, and ipractice a story to tell it like i've, never told it before, because i got togo out and tell it four hundred times a year right. You know and every audiencehas to think it's the first time, i'm telling it and how is it being on stageand, let's say five nights in a row your your bit doesn't hit? How is that for a er never happens tome? I crush every time, right's right. No, there is exactlythere. So what's that, what is that process for you? Oh man, so internet contents fun because we canedit it together and you can like do your time and just right. You can knowthat. But i love stand up because you get on stage and you can't you if youmess up a word, you can't undo it hm. You know us as a christian comedian yeah if you said on word out o churchthis year, they're like what did he just say, but honestly, then yourcameraman just turns the audience, gets that rein. There lit a guys light out.I'm like thanks. Well, you don't have an opportunity to turn your mike off.You know, like you actually say a word they're like shutting out. No, i mean, but you know, if you, ifyou're speaking and you're, like you know, i don't know, i have said jeeprang, go jeep or ford wrangler before you know likethat kind of thing is in r. You can't just be like hoops, it's a ford, rangeror a you know. Instead of a j ranger, you don't go back and correct it. Oh,is keego got to keep going and there's that guy in the audience, thinking thewhole time you know ha, but it flow it. Messes upyour whole float like if you're, if you're talking you telling the storyand you're like yeah the guys in the back of his his ford, wrangler ranger,you, you know it just messes up the flow, and so with with online content.You can really curate it and you can edit it and make it what you want it tobe, and i love the potential awkwardness of life showslike i love the i riff with an audience or just or likei make something up on a spot like, but nothing compares to because theinternet, you, you stack your jokes up, and you know that the video is funny,but i don't get to see people watch my videos. It's actually super awkwardwhenever i'm in a room and someone's like, if you guys seen this guy's videoand they'll, pull it up like your i'm just sitting over here yeah. That's methere, i'm just i'm literally just like okay and they're like and you jus your and they're, like listen, the rap andyou're listing and they'll watch it and they look up at you be like he do theyever ask you like you know that was good, but you're here. Can you just doit for us right here? Right happens, a lot yeah, the like. Can you ramp orsome people would be? Can you do an acoustic version of the rap which leadsthem to our next techno? But you know i actually i'm glad i didn't do thisbecause it i had talked to ashley last night and said: hey, you know we'rehaving we get jaren in town. We should invitehim over to one of our friends. Is game nights we don't tell him who he is andthen we's play a wee play games, and then i say you know what there's thiswhole lateris video i got show you guys. I start showing up videos of you andjust see how long it takes them before they're like it's, i was on a bachelor,not a bachelor fare. It was like a birthday party i went to in likedecember and we start tying with chick flit, because i, like i like theirbusiness model, so i was talking and this one. He other guys is like a guywho owns businesses, and you know we were talking about like here's watchingplay successful and we're just talking about chick file and on of the otherguys in the groups is like, oh dude, you would love this song. I saw onetime and i was like oh really and like he's like googling he's pulling up thechick filet rap, i oh is is rap that you're gonna love it and he watchingand i'm just like. Oh cool, okay, because here's the other thing too, isthat there's another chick folle rap. What of my friends? Shama did a change.So if i'm at my house- and i say, alexa play chick fillet wrap, she plays hissong, okay, because his because he's as tifully rap in the title- but i sayjesus better well, mine, okay, but i'm glad we got the right gye's like oh, wewere. We just look up to flier happen accidentally book to you. We this thisepisode, just called best chick play, ran so so sha i did. I took fillet rapd andi'm always a little worried when...

...someone's like. I a pull. This chickflare, you're going to love it that they're going to pull and because ican't be like oh yeah, that's mine, and then they pull up shama. Who is thisblack guy from south carolina and they're? Like? That's? Not you like youknow so anyway, so he's pulling up the chick file rap and then it takes them acouple seconds he's watching it and he's good and you're. Looking he's put the phoneaway and i'm just sitting there like the guy. It wasn't because because youcan't sit there and be like yeah, you know like i. I was s that i'm seriouslyterrified like i'm just sitting there like like hey, it was weird anyway, youcan't be more terrified than the blind date scenario where, where you'reliterally in front of an audience yeah fort of all, i thought one day i'mgoing to tour in do theaters right. That was one of my one of these. It'sbeen a dream still as a dream. I would love to tour and do theaters indifferent cities. When i was nineteen, i had this dream of doing a theatertour where, like as much as i love stand up, the thing i love about standup is that it could fail like i like doing jokes, that, like that's the funof it, is when you're writing new jokes right. So you're writing new stuff,you're testing it out and the only way to tell something's actually funny is,if you say it, and the audience laughs like that's the only way to tell, andso i like whenever i tell a new joke and it doesn't hit- and i go oh okay,all right. So i got i try to work that right. So then i started thinking ofdifferent ways to kind of include the audience in different angles, and oneof them was. I was going to do a tour called dating with jaron and i wasgoing to do a whole dinner date night, where i walk in on stage and i've got atable and i'm just facing the audience and the audience is my date. So i was going to do a show where i'mjust out there and i'm getting to know the audience, and you know talk withasking and random questions of. I was going to have it and i was like. Maybei could have a server come out, you know and when you had a server come out.Well, i haven't done this. This is this is like in my head. Okay, like thedream of like doing a theater to r a s like okay e, i can have a server comeout and maybe he and i can like work out some like kind of skit type things.What if that girl didn't know that we were going to do that, and so that'show the blind date was born was what, if i just went on a date in front of anaudience. But what if we didn't tell the girl? I was going to do that so so you got to have the right personwhat you did right wi. So we had a plan, so we were into the small theater. Ididn't want to do a massive kind of room. It's only fifty people, and soyou know we put the dinner tables there at the beginning of the show- and i told the audience the show startsat seven at seven o'clock and so a couple days before i messaged this girli never met before on facebook. I really did like i just friend requestedcute girls in my college town, because that's just i was just like all right.You know we got mutual friends and hay. You know because i'm funny on theinternet, this is- and this is two hats and fourteen thousand and fifteen- thati actually became friends with the girl like regan, who came to the date in twothousand and fourteen and two thousand and fourteen, where i'm a collegestudent we didn't know the internet was as dangerous. You know, so we were just acceptingfront requests as just kind of whatever. So anyway, she except or my frondless,so we're friends on facebook for several years and then in two thousandand eighteen. I message her on facebook and i said: hey i'm going to thiscomedy show i'm supposed to have a date. Do you want to go with me and thenshe's, like sure, so makes sense right? Well, i think her roommate was like amutual friend of mine, like her roommate had done comedy, so she cameso just the asta roommate she was like she was like hey. Is this guy creepyand her roommate was like no he's fine, and so that was you know it was already.It was all right. We actually found out that i had done a podcast interview ather apartment before, because i had done a podcast like interview with herroommate a lot, their apartment, okay and so before. I ever knew this girlanyway, so she walks to the venue. So she meetsme there i told her. It started at seven thirty, so the audience got thereearly right. They get there at seven m. I tell her. It starts at seven thirtyat seven o'clock the show starts, i go out to the audience and i explained toit because they didn't know either they bought tickets to just a normal comedyshow, so they thought they thought they were just going to watch me to stand up,and then i walk out to the audience, and i was like listen. That's on.What's going to happen, so i wonder like their thoughts likedid. They have a reaction to that or yeah. It was super awkward. Some peoplewere like, oh no e, what's has so we so i went out- and i said your family's anaudience. My parents, my grandma, my brother, yeah good, lord, so and abunch of my friends and some some people knew it was going to happen.Like my parents. Obviously i told them beforehand and my friends and stuff,but i just told the audience i said: listen my dates going to arrive atabout twentyminutes and we're going to...

...get to know reagan and the reason i saywe is because i have also never met reagan. So hands were in full support of that.Like yeah, i mean it's just a show like it's it in my head. It wasn't a date.It wasn't like a real okay yeah, because i because i it's a show, youknow we're going to do a thing. It's an experimental thing and i had someonewaiting in the so okay. So i walk to the thing. When people came in theaudience, we put an x on half of their hands and then i said, if you have an xon your hand, you need to go back to the lobby, because i'm going to meetreagan outside and we're going to stand in line and buy tickets to this show.So because, then, if everyone's already in there, they were the last ones toget in whatever you know. So we are walking into we're in line and the andthey're just recheck it they're like handing their tickets over and rechecking in getting set in the seas. They were already in there's two seatsin the front row. We walk in we're not even the last ones to walk in. I planthat too for two other couples to walk in behind us, so we're not just sittingdown all of a sudden like well. Now i'm glad these two were here, so you get alittle bit of time to introduce yourself yeah. I was i a couple things.Well so like we're sitting there- and i was like i have you been to a show herebefore and sad so then i had to get her miked up. I had to get us withmicrophones because i know we're going to be on stage so the host of the showcomes out and you can obviously see the cameras it's kind of like these yeah,like you can see them, they're, not hidden, and so the host of the showcomes out. It's like hey you're, going to see a stand up show tonight by theway we're recording this. So we want to get some good audio, so you know makesure your phones on silent, don't go to the bathroom in the middle of someoneset. Obviously, and also we want to get a few audience laughter individuals to mix into the audio, togive it a full sound, are there any volunteers would be willing to wear amicrophone, and i had two other people raise theirhands and then i was like oh, we will and so latian her thought is and she'slike she. The host is explaining it. So her thought is like okay, she's, notthinking anything different about putting a microphone on. So then twotexts come over and put microphones on, and i also had two texts go to theother people who raised their hands so that she's not suspicious, because nowthere's a couple people in the audience wearing mikes, you know so she's got.She has no idea. Oh my, and so then i had two of my friends do stand up. Sohe said: hey welcome tom gray and tom comes out and does five minutes ofstand up and then and then tom went off and then he said, hey. You know welcomenick nickols and nick walks out and does stand up, and i was like that's myfriend you know and then and then the host comes out afterward and is likeall right. I goes ready to see your headliner tonight. Would you welcomejaron myers? I wait. Who does she think the headliner is? Does she know youjust a little comedy show so she didn't know she mean asked. I told her. Myfriend was on the show, which was the second one, and i was like. Oh it's, myfriend, so she wasn't like. Is this gym? Geshe wasn't any? No! No! She wasn'tbecause, like a small thing, she thought was a local springfield showyeah so, and the dinner tables just on stage. The whole time, like my friends,are just performing in front of it, and and so it's just sitting there, and soi get up, and i do seven minutes of stand up, which is the right amount oftime, because the audience knows and i'm about to pull her up. There she'sgot no idea, so i'm doing stand up and the audience is like come on. Dude, like pull her up therealready, but she said in there. I wanted to get the right amount oftension because the audience i can feel them getting a little more tense wherethey're like, because they're laughing at the jokes but they're kind of like god, go on with this show. We want tosee what happens like when you know your friends going to propose and yeahand there and they're just kind of like we just want to see the re right, butshe has no idea that's about to happen, so she i wanted to give her the amountof time for her to sit there and go and then in her head she's like did hedid he invite me his own show like this guy invited me to his owncomedy, show like i wanted it to be just long enough and then, when i feltthe tension was right is when i was like i'm on a date right now and thens, a reagan wouch like to joinme on stage for dinner. Okay, but in that moment, right, you're askingreagan up on to the stage and that's the first time, where she's not justsitting being a bystander. No everything that's happening, and so nowthere's this moment where what, if she just says nope right or she she's runso we one of my friends was in the lobby holais with flowers, my friendlauren, okay. She was in the lobby- oh okay, with flowers, waiting in casethis because we, i didn't, know anything about this girl. Okay, theonly thing i knew that we were friends on facebook, that is it and so laurenswaiting for. Oh, where a detail i forgot to tell you, i sent that messageto twenty one girls, so i didn't choose reagan. Okay, i senti messina ragan's listening. It was just her. No, she knows and oh let metell you she knows. Okay, so probably let you hear it mil okay, so i sent acopy paste message to every girl. I knew i had never met on facebook and,like i told you, i was a thirsty kid,...

...so i just missed. I just friend requestof these girls right yeah, so i send hey. I know that we don't know eachother, i'm just supposed to go to a comedy show with a date on monday.Would you want to go with me and i just copy paste copy, paste, coffee, pastecopy pace, cove past to twenty something girls reagan was the firstperson to respond on out of whatever twenty something right. Several of themresponded a lot of them. Just didn't. Okay, iasus curious. How many girls areresponding to this run? I think i got i mean for anybody like i got like sixor seven responses. No, i sent to follow a message. The next day i saidhey, i was just doing the show. I hope that you know sorry, because i alsounderstand from a girls perspective like it is awkward to get a d orwhatever right so, but i definitely have a reputationaround springfield now and i know because reagan was in college at thetime and the like three days after the date she was in class and one of myfacebook ads had popped up on another girl's. Facebook and she goes, sheshows her friend. She goes this guy message me and ask me on a date thisweekend and three other girls in the class said me too and reagan's the sitting there, knowingwhy, when oh, my gosh me too didn't tell them was just like. Oh my gosh,what a sleazy guy like i just message all these girls anyway, so she was as like. I knewnothing about her. I didn't know you know. I just made our friends onfacebook and i message her so she could have left. When i said, would you liketo joe me for dinner? So we had someone with flowers in the lobby. If she hadrun out, then they would have handed the flowers. I would have obviouslyfollowed and been like hey, listen, we weren't trying to make fun of you. Ijust wanted to do an experiment. Here's some flowers, you know i had it. I gotstarbuck card in there as well of like you, know, feel free to leave totally.I gave her the flowers at the of the night, but she didn't she sat down at dinnerand we and the host of the show, the guy that was out there, like guys, wererecording, and would you welcome your headliner? He was the waiter, so hecomes back with an apron on later, and so that's what he d like he walks outin the audience is like. Oh, okay, all right, you know, so it was fun. We imean, you know we ate the whole dinner in front of everybody and and now andthen and now is, is reagan well and now, three years later, we're you know stillgoing on dates. So it worked out amazing, which wasn't the plan a littlemad yeah because was your plan to you were just going to do this bit onenight you i was going to do a tour of this. This was your whole. I wanted tofigure out how to do this in other cities. I wanted to figure out, likethe we passed, the orlando improper here, right or sure yeah. I wanted tofigure out how to parten with them so that i could roll in. They would findme a date and then we could just do the samething. So i as b jar myers blind date, yea and people show up and they get towatch you on a date. Yes, wis. What i yes for any like, i feel like anynobody. Do it stop i own. The idea, don't don't be like is genius, he meanother comedians should do that don't be it's not like. People are ripping yourideas on tick tock anyway, that's a different topic, yeahyeah, and to those people. But yes, just to those people. I say it is thatquit it or you do you like you, like that, i don't like it. No comedydoesn't work the same way as music. Does it's not like a cover, so it's notlike if i create the macarena and everybody's doing themocker rain, i'm, like my dance, has made it your vinin right doesn't work,it doesn't work. This a comedy doesn't work the same way because once you'veheard a joke, you know you've heard the punch line. That's it's kind of likethere's a whole series of videos where a magician was revealing. How magiciansdo the tricks, and so then you can't. You can't watch a magician. Do thattrick then right, because because the whole time your life, i know how itworks. Yeah and it's like me, the cards i'll. Do it right so anyway, yeah atthe end of the day, i dropped reagan off and she left her wallet in my car.So the next day i go out to my car there's her wallet, the passenger seat,which is a smooth move right, because i got to return the wall thatday, but now that i've been dating her forthree years. I realized that she did not do it on purpose. Oh that as shedoes it down. She just f she's forgetful, so she just actually after awhile it and it has worked out- you know so- we've been dating for threeyears now. That's phenomena is wo man, it's yeah, so the other night you hadmentioned about partnering with churches in communities bringing comedyinto those communities. Yeah tell us more about that. So so a lot of what i want to do is idon't do i do christian comedy, but not christian comedy if that makes sense,so i don't do like veggie tails, jokes and i don't go up and be like. You know,communions weird because well in, and the main reason isbecause i just realizedd because i was...

...on staff at a church and our wholevision was a safe place to find apologises right and so by doing that,work in a church. I realized, because i would invite a lot of friends and iwould do work at starbucks and i'm obviously a comedian. So a lot of myfriends are comedians and i was always trying to get them to come to churchwith me, and i realize that no one was accepting that invite and it didn'tmatter how close i got to them. There was something it wasn't. It wasn't thati wasn't good enough friends with them. You know it's like about: like is likea best friend it wouldn't matter. How close i got to them. It that wasn't theobstacle. The obstacle was that they just weren't going to step foot in achurch, and- and i am i'm in the bible bell- so i don't know how well i knowhow universal it is, but it's very common in the bible belt that a lot ofpeople grew up with pretty negative experiences in the church or from a christian in their life, and soit didn't matter how much i invested in a person. If my goal was to get them tocome to church, then i was just never going to reach that goal and so which at that's that wasn't my goal,but you know i'm talking about like. I would have these friendships withpeople and i would say, like hey, you know, i lead worship of this church andno pressure to come hang out. But if you got nothing else, go on saturday,night or sunday morning like come with me and they were like yeah. We can dolunch after, like okay, cool i'll, do and i'll do it i'll a hundred per cent.You know yeah, but they just weren't going to accept the invite to a church,and so i think a lot of churches are doing an event with the hope thatthey're going to draw people in so a lot of churches will try to book acomedy show and they treated like an outrage event and they like well, wecan just get this is. I think this was really common of the two and two as if,if we can make church cool, if we can do the right give aways and if we cando like a big christmas show or if you can do whatever it is, then we can getpeople into the building and then they'll come back yeah. I m a and allmichael junior in a church right were- and i do church shows, but right, i'msure the whole audience were people that are also there on sunday morningright right right, that's the thing is that the people who are going to cometo a church are people who are already comfortable it, the idea of walkinginto a church, so my vision for what i want to do is i want to give. I want tocreate opportunities where you can invite your friend to something whereit's a clean show, so you can bring your whole family, but also you're, going to have anopportunity to invite a friend who may not know the hope of jesus, and i sharemy story in the show. I share that. Listen like i almost took my life and ihave the reason i laugh every day until my abs hurt- and i know that right now-you're like what ams, okay, not the point, but i have no room to touch okay, butthe reason that i have joy and hope it is because of jesus, and so i sharethat in my show- and so i want an opportunity to do that with people whoare just not going to step into a church, so they might not accept theinvite to a sunday service. They might not. You could be given away a tenthousand dollar huge, imax tv to put in their house. You know, and still somepeople would go, i'm just not going to go there. So does that make you notpartner with a church, or does that mean? No? I so veno. So what i? What iwould hope to do is because i, because the reason i want to part with a localchurch is this- is that if i just rent a venue and go do a show, then i gohome the next day. So, like i'll, do the show and i'll talk about my storyand i'll say: hey! Listen if you resonate with that like this is where ifound hope. But what i would love to do is partner churches. Let's have a venue,that's not your church. Let's have a building outside of that. So it's acommon space, because, if you're inviting a friend to your church, theymight not do that, but if you invite them to a local theater or a placewhere comedy already happens like they know that that's just a comedy showthen they're much more likely to accept that invite right and i would love tohave a place to point those people who do come to my show- and i say hey ifthat resonates with you. If that's something that you're interested inlike i'm going to go home tomorrow, but there's this community here who wouldlove to talk with you and they're out here in the lobby or they're out hereoutside of their there? You know they would love to distinto themselves andtalk with you and answer any questions you might have, because i want to beable to set someone else up to not find a church home right, but iwant to help them find friends who will love them and care for them and nurturethat faith, and so i'm not looking to get them to your sunday service. Andwould you be doing these shows like on a saturdaynight, and then you show up that next sunday, like the i've done that thatnext yeah morning, i've goens and spoken at churches m well- and i mean iwas even thinking speaking just more of like if you're in the lobby, so thatwere evil come in hey, that's femori, yeah that we saw last night. We lovethat's the reason why we came here. Yes, you're almost like a greeter sure yeah.Is that what your thought is or i've done that before? But you know, if i'm doing i've donelike a friday night show- and i i just...

...fly home on saturday or i go into thenext city or do whatever but yeah. I mean my goal is, i think, a lot of church events can senther on filling your building and i just become so uninterested inthat like what i want to do. As i want to connect people to the truth of jesus,i am more interested in introducing people to jesus and connecting them topeople who will walk with them through that than i am of just introducingsomeone to the flow of church like because so, for example, my kid mygirlfriend when we started dating she was the kind of she was in a spot whereshe's like you know, i believe in a god and i've heard about jesus and i pray.But i don't really know what that looks like now. What reagan didn't need was:okay, great, so the prescription for that is to go to one service a week andyou know, go in there, listen to the message and then just reflect on thatand you're going to grow. What she needed was friends. What she needed waspeople who cared about her enough and would ask questions and get to know hermore than just hey. You know, are you reading your bible every day? Are yougoing to? Are you serving at church? What's the answer outside of themcoming to a comedy, show what can churches be doing? That is not just well. If we do more ofsunday more or more lights, we in lasers- i guess for me the the central part of what i hopeministry is for. All of us is like i'm saying like i wish. I had the capacity to go into acity, do a show and then personally invest in every person that comes to myshow, but i don't have the capacity to do that, and so i would love to partnerwith churches in the area who you've got multiple people at your church thati could connect these people to that. Come to my show- and they say i want toknow more about that and we can connect them to people who will call them andcheck in on them and more than just like, hey, didn't see you last sunday,but we'll call on a tuesday afternoon and be like hey just want to see howyour days going and be your friend yeah. It sounds like that. The church o bigsea church- you know us, as believers just need to step up and not rely onour small group gatherings a having to be something of the church like it's:okay, as christians to just have a small group of people, your friends,your neighbors, without having to say this- is a so and so church, yeah smallgroup, and without having to have some kind of training yeah. That allows meto be a small greble. You just have your friends over and have some drinksand choose your favorite. You know bob goff book or whatever yeah. When yousay drinks you mean make mountain dew and i read code rat, their red red,drink, soul, great and what you're saying is. So i think that people don't know how to be friendswith each other m because there always has to be. He doesn't feel productive. It doesn't feel like there's a like adirection, and so i'm saying that friendship with a motive is justmanipulation like that's, not that's, not a friendship and that'swhen two thousand and twenty happened. A lot of people realize just howtransactional a large part of their life was when they're shut in, who arethe people who genuinely want to reach out and just say: hey? Are you handlingthis okay and not reaching out to be like hey?Are you handling so, okay, and also you know like they were and help moving?Well, it's kind of like being the friend that has a pickup truck. Youknow and your friends calling like he is gone. Also you still got that four.Ten hundred and fifty you know, and it's there's a reason i never bought atrack right. Exact is a reason no wants to fly. I pick up trick and if you doyou don't tell anybody about it. People are like what are you drivin hande, aandra, honda, elantra, it's a or pacific, it's rough, but youknow i really they. If there's a if there's a motive, if there's an anglebecause love doesn't work an angle, that's not what that's! That's not whatthat is, and so i just. I just hope that we could that's one of the thingsthat i would like to work on. In my life. That's what i hope to get betterat is is caring for people, because they're people yeah just lovingthem because they're a person, that's the bare minimum. I love that yeah. Imean i feel like that. That is kind of yourholy discontent like that churches. Wanting to just have people come in, you know on asundays or churches kind of not really doing the evangelizing asmuch as they're doing the just like building up internally. Well, whatthey're evangelizing is in jesus, what they're evangelizing is be a churchperson be a person who comes to a...

...service and do these things and notevery church. Obviously, that's not that's. That's a generalization, but iknow for me that was a shift that happened when i was in college was. Iwas on a church where the goal was to get more people at church and if weweren't, then we were dying and if we were growing, then we were growing innumbers. That's what that meant! Yeah and i love the church. I was on staff at inspringfield and i and still like it's still my home church, because growthwasn't about like more people in seats and yeah, it does it. I don't want tobe a part of entertaining christians and justcreating an environment. It's like! Oh, we all came together and we you know,we all do the right things and say the right things and read the right things,and- and this is who we are. I want to be a part of what are we providing anopportunity for someone to encounter the living god yeah, because it wasjust about a program? I'm not interested yeah and i mean t e. There are so manygreat things out there that are going on yes, and it's like they're, not asadvertised you can just google search justin's. You know upper room, yeaheats like in a small part of town or and there's a guy that i know who whobrews his own beer in his garage and started a group of guys who want tolearn how to brew beer, and so they'll. Do that and then just over a few beersthey just talk and hang out afterward and that's like that's his weeklyhighlight that's what he looks forward to and they just read: hetares he brews,yes, yeah, that's what they yeah, but i mean like because that is. That is thewhole reason we started. Young mary christian was because my boss, jamesand people, don't need another podcast to listen to exactly and that's what wesaid. Look they don't need another podcast. What shall we make o pidipodcast? I totally i was i'm. You know you want t stay, what i'm messing withyou but like, but if the purpose of the podcast isjust to get listeners, then that's and that's not what you're doing that'swhat i'm trying that's. What i was saying was that you're not doing thisto be like, i guys, here's more content exactly, but for us, like our holydiscontent and honestly, the whole reason for us starting this podcast isthe orphan crisis in america. I look at my screen to tell you this: the statthere's roughly four hundred thousand foster kids and the united states today.Now, there's also the same number of churches in america as well, so aboutthe same number of foster, kids in america and churches. So imagine if wehad every church one family, they stepped up into foster care or adoption.Imagine the gospel impact we could have. I mean, and we've made it easy so,whether it's just wanting to learn, maybe you want a partner, participate whatever. It is your level of what youwant to do to help this out. If you text freedom, the word freedom, freedomto the number, eight three three three seven zero one, six one zero willactually get. You started down that path to where we can see. We can see ifwe can do something about that. That's what we're fired up about! Yeah!That's why we flee down yeah! That's why we wanted to hang out with you thewhole time you're down here. Not just that. I mean we like what they get. I otexts the number. What is that? What kind of resources so like if i'm aperson looking to foster yeah, so we have partnered with lifelinechildren services? Okay. So when you text that number that's going toconnect you with them and then they're going to actually be the ones yeahconnecting it made sense, because it's something iwant to do like i've told every girl who were dated like hey, listen,adoption or fostering is like going to happen. Oh that's awesome! So igenuinely didn't know that yeah i mean i have told every every girl that i'mlike hey, that's a yon, your radar. Then this a for you. You don't get you don't get this hotstuff and why? Why is that? Something? That is a passion for you one. I wantto make sure that any girl that i've you know am potentially going to marry.That sounds like i'm going to marry multiple girls, that's not what i meanyou know i meant like. I had the i wanted to make sure pretty early onthat it was a priority to care for, forthose that can't care for themselves and to use the resource that i hadbecause i mean i did. I grew up middle class and privileged. You know and it's a priority, because i don't like that statistic. I don'tlike the four hundred thousand kids because i mean you know how foster caresystem works. It's they bounce around from thing to thing i from home to home,and i just i think it's really...

...important. One of the biggest thingsfor my life was. My mom was a single mom. Until i was six and when, when shemarried my dad, we did the whole adoption process and he wasn't mystepdad. He became like he was my dad. He is my dad and says what he's stillhere but like that was a big deal for me. Ijust remember that being like we did the adoption process and i remembergoing to the court house. It was cool because there was a judge and all thatstuff, but i remember that that meant something, even though i was six youknow of like that's my dad and, and you know, every father's damnreminded like there was someone who walked out, but there was a guy who mymom was twenty two when she had me, which means my dad was twenty one wheni was born, and so my dad was my age when he married a single mom and i'mtwenty seven and i lose my phone charger all the time you know so icouldn't imagine i stra couldn't imagine like you know stepping into theand he did and that like it just meant so much to me, then, and now that i want to do that. I want to be apart of that. I want to be a part of stability for someone else a so it's in a priority for me, and iwant to make sure that is. I want to make sure a girl knows that going intoit. So it's not just like. Do you want to do this she's like forget them, kidsand the reason i ask what happens when when they text? That number. Is thatthe reason a lot of people don't is because they don't know where to start,and they don't know what to do like. I so there's a there's, a churchin alabama which i'll connect you to as well, but he was explaining to me thattheir biggest hurdle of getting new parents to foster was that they wouldalways say like what we don't know. Anybody else is doing it. We don't seeit the successful they google it and they just hear horror stories of it,not working out of like things being way more difficult than it is, and itreally goes back to the community thing that we talked about before is that alot of people might try to get into fostering or adopting, and then when itgets difficult, they don't know who to call, they don't know anyone else,who's doing it, and so that's what i think is really important aboutorganizations like that is that that's the person they call that's theorganization that will help them and resource them, not only just with likehere's, a pamphlet of what to do, but also like here are other parents whoare in the same situation, who are stepping out and doing this as well andbuilding that community, and so i think that that's you know again, it's not it's more than aprogram of like hey, you know, do this ten step thing and that's how life'sgoing to work out. We need people to call when things are difficult and whenthings are out of our ability- and i think that's what a lot of people avoidor afraid to step into fostering s because of that yeah, and i know thatfor me god's been telling at my heart for quite some time. I did a missiontrip in me and mar and you're just surrounded by all the orphans and thenfrom that to even just seeing the the movie about it s like instant family.Oh my gosh, i loved it like amazing. He did watch it with my girlfriend. I eman, it was live, don't watch that with, if you're in a relationship. Okay,don't watch that together unless you're, both already on board like th, because,like we watch that together, we're not married. Yet we watch that together andshe is like crying at the end right and she just looks at me like you- want tostart a family tomorrow. Thank you know cause that's what youwant to do after you watch it, and i mean from that to even like my fianceashley, her brother and his wife. They are a foster family, so i i mean: we'veonly been dating less than two years and i've already seen multiple kidslike coming through that house and- and you get to see these kids meet thesekids and you just see like oh my gosh, like there's a neat, because if it'snot for families like her brothers, ryan, ryno deborah you know doing thatthan these kids are just in the system without a family or in a in a situationwith a family situation is not good, yeah and so, like, i feel, like god, keepspulling on my strings, and so when james brought this idea to me, but itwas ironic because in the bible, it's literally like james, the book of jamesthat talks about he wrote it. I think he might have been the author of jamesand i'm like whoa like a. We know how old you yeah, but i think that yeah in all of that,i'm thinking to myself. Okay, like is this a calling for me like, is thiswhat god so hard? And i remember think what do i do, because my local churchthat i attend they're not talking about it sure and the you don't know where tostart. You know what to do exactly so. Even this like myself, like i lookedinto their stuff, and i mean i never even knew that there was such a serviceas being able to create a system at t,your local church, where you can have...

...those families that are have eitheradopted or fostered or even they're, pregnant and they're, not sure if theywant to keep the baby or not. You can actually have set up groups where youcan just pray for those people you and, and it's crazy, because i met the rockclimbing gym. I go to i'm talking to guys and girls that have fostered andadopted. I would have never known that yeah until i bring up the conversationwhen they're like. So what do you do for a living? I'm like? Well, i'mstarting up this podcast called young mary christian, and this is what ourmission is and they're like. Oh yeah, we've got a little girl or oh yeah. Wegot and you're like wow there's a lot of people that are doing this and it would be nice to you know if imaybe i'm not called to adopt myself. Maybe i'm called to just partner withthis resource them to resource them. Yeah, because a lot of people thinkthat it's either it's all or nothing yeah. You don't got to save the world.You know what to say the world, but you already did it you're right, you don'tgot to say the world, but you know, like you said you wouldn't know thatthey had fostered unless you had those conversations, and that's that's really.What i was trying to get to before is that the heart of community is gettingto know those things and getting to know someone beyond we work at the sameplace or we go to the same church or we go to the same rock climbing, gym orwhatever right and people think of ministry, or you know loving jesus asthese categories of well. I sing worship, songs and i read my bible andi serve at church and you know and that's what i do, but really there areso many opportunities that god is moving in friendships like that, whereyou get to talk to parents who are fostering you get totalk to couples who are considering it you to talk to moms, who don't know ifthey're going to keep their child or not, and you say: hey, there's options,there are things we can do and i'm here to not only i'm not here to get youfrom point a to point b, i'm here to walk with you along this whole journeyand that's that's a really big thing, a bit like okay, so you say this andthese couples out there there's got to be some amazing ones in your life, i'msure that are just killing it and you see him you're, like they're, so happyone day i hope reagan and i can be like that. Do you have those couples? Whoare they and what is it about them? What do you see anything that they'redoing that? Maybe you know some of our listeners can be like. Oh yeah, we'lladd that to our list. First of all absolutely avoid doing this withanybody on social media. So if you're right now thinking ofcouples think of couples, you tangibly actually know in person, oh for justyeah, i'm not i'm not thing right. I want to make sure i want to make sure,because that's one of the things that i thought i was like. Oh yeah, there'slike plan, but no, no, i think in your life the people that no one right, noone's giving cry. I wanted to clarify that too. I wanted to you know and butand even though, even if it's like it doesn't have to be famous people,you know i'm saying right. I like about the dave and pam in your life, then nono one now, but i'm saying like don't compare it to the instagram version ofthe people that you know you know don't look at your friend's facebook, pageand bickell. I wish i had a marriage like that. Okay, i'm saying like rightnow, if you're listening the couples that you know in real life right, soone of the couples i look up to is my pastors jeremy and lean the frenopeople very different personalities, and i love the way that they joke abouthow different their personalities are. One time we were at the church. This iswhat i was on staff there and it was raining and their daughter had justturned sixteen and got her license. She was driving by herself in the rain andlean is just looking at the window and she's like she has not answered herphone and jeremy just go. Should we worry about it? He s e. He did that to make fun of it. Youknow, but like they're able to go- and she goes you're right, i'm me but likethey're able to and that's what i said before- is thatshe can own that part where she's stressing too much and outwardlyleaking out her hair anxiety and he can lightly kind of joke, because she canacknowledge that about herself of like oh yeah, i there's nothing me worryingabout this. Isn't going to help or get home in the rain? You know and and iloved watching, that interaction they probably don't remember that at all,and but that's that was one of the thingsthat i like i like watching, watching them interact and and couples that can owntheir own stuff and are confident in themselves because the whole i was thinking aboutthis other day, the whole thing about intimacy. The reason that followingjesus is hard in a relationship is, i thought about this. When reagan went tochurch with me on sunday and we don't go to church together, often because welive in different cities. Okay- and i remember sitting there- i'm like man, it's harder for me to get into worshiptoday, because i just snapped at her in the car on the way to church. So it's harder for me to raise my handsand because in my head i'm like, if i'm getting into worship right now, youknow i haven't apologized to her for...

...snapping in the car yet, and so it'shard to go. Oh i love you now. I see my friends doing this because i think somuch of the stuff that i know my friends do in their relationshipsbecause we'll talk about it in private, but a lot of the stuff that i want toemulate is the stuff that i don't see it's the conversations in before wewent in church, where i was like. Listen, i'm sorry. I did that and that's notsomething that i will ever see a couple do, but that's what i want in myrelationship is the ability to be humble in front of somebody to bevulnerable and say i made a mistake on and i map owning your crap and knowingthat she's not going to go a yeah, you did dude, you know, that's trust, that is that and that'sand that's what i so it's hard to be like. Oh, why? Those are the things iwant to emulate, but that stuff that i saw my parents do. I saw my dad,especially we. You know we grew up. He grew up in a home where he's one oflike seven siblings and he's the only one. That's in jail, okay and so tellhealthy relationships was not and my mom grew up in a broken home, and so you know, arguments weren't small. Itwas kind of like we would all get frustrated and we push it down, push itdown, push it down and then we'd all blow up or whatever, and so we went tofamily counseling. All this things and i watched as my dad started to likeapologize. You are how old, when this counseling started my sophomore or highschool, two thousand and ten. So i was sixteen, and so i was going through that time. I waslike i hate these people as my parents, you know, and all bout re all going throughfamily, counseling and and something that my parents do nowthat you know i don't. I almost said like iwish we'd have done all along, but we had to learn. This was my dad will comeinto my room and say: hey, i'm sorry. I did that and he's not like looking forme to be. Like i'm sorry that i broke the rules, he just saying i'm sorry. Ireacted that way and it wasn't with an expectation that i would own my crap toyou know, because as soon as we're holding it over like hey i'll own, mycrap, if you own yours, that's no owning your crap right, you know, and so once you know, my parentsstarted to do that with each other and with us, especially they started to dothat directly with us. That's something that brought us a lotcloser together, like just this past weekend at eras, easter weekend, myparents house and we're playing baseball in the yard. I told my brothernot to do something, because i knew that it would hurt and then in heaccidentally did the thing like i told what what was the timy nephew waspitching of kami and i was catching and my brother grabbed a bat and i wasn'twearing any like. I wasn't like wearing a face mask or neat pas or anything iwas just with a glove like tell him. Don't hit me say that. Well, i told him,i said: don't swing at these pitches because you're going to found one offand hit me, i said so, don't actually swing at it and then he did and then itfouled off straighten my knee cap and it hurt real bad and i said some wordsand then i blew and i yelled at him and in my you know my six year old nephewsright there watching it all happen. You know as you're yelling your favoritescripture as i'm just like jesus marian cosi. I love the firstfamily of the bible, and so but i had you know i had to goinside and say i reacted really poorly and i'm sorryyeah and i think a lot of families out there, especially in the church, wouldlike kind of hear you say counseling and be like. Oh that's only when youhit rock bottom yeah, maybe even rock badam still don't go to counsellingyeah. You know and i feel like that's getting better. You know i feel likethe stigma around. It is going away a little bit it. If, for sure is i tenthousand percent suggest a counselor for anybody, i go to counselingregularly still because it's not something that is like.Oh, i only go there when i need it, it's you or you and reagan. It's likebrushing your teeth. You don't brush your teeth when they're starting to rotand fall out. That's so true! That's good advice. You know it s! Somebodyyou brush your teeth, so that they don't right. Somebody need to hear thatsomebody. Some somebody need to put that on a pillow i'll, tell you whatsomebody ha ha ha. So you said you go to counseling just by yourself, or isyou and reagan go into this count en aga? We haven't done couples counselingyet, and so we'll do that and in you know, when we get closer to marriage kind of thing, that's a s,something to look forward to yeah, hey! When you marry me, we can startcounseling yeah, you. You know, that's our counselor! Now! Ah, no i've had the same counselor since iwas in high school. So like we went to we went. We started family counselingaround that same time i started...

...counseling, i have an anxiety disorderand so i've had a counselor for w l. I guess eleven years now that i seeregularly and it helps to have someone who's not in the situation or in yourreal life to counseling is more than just like a you know, spill on to somebodybecause for me i didn't have the tools to healthily navigate my anxiety, ididn't have the the tools to when the bible says were new. In your mind, italked about it being a practice right. I talk about the practice of findingjoy and the practice, those practical steps, that's what a counselor helpedme form and help me find was when i am anxious intentionally dothese things, and that was something that i i think i went into counseling thinking.This person was going to be like okay, well, here's what you need to do andthat's not at all what it was was. It was first of all led with empathy, andthen it was actual psychologically proven things to do in those moments, and so that was stuffthat i needed and that's that's that's greatly, helped me and then mygirlfriend also goes to counseling, and so it just helps to have someone you'renot going to run into at the post office to bounce things off of and to becompletely open with, because, like i said it is it vulnerability is also apractice. It's also a muscle, you have to exercise and it is really hard to bevulnerable with someone who who is there, you know it's hard, it'shard to be vulnerable with jesus in front of someone who did see you freakout the night before yeah and you're saying a counselor has to be someonedifferent than your person, the guy, that's discipling you or your pastor,somebody that you know very well like that. That's something different sure!Well, first of all counsels a trained professional like it's not a, and youknow they could be professionally trained in that that you're sayingthere should be something different there. It shouldn't be. I don't i don'tsee my counselor as like. I have mentors, that's that's a different everyes yeah, so so i make that very clear right. We like i've got i've got oldermen that i meet with and have breakfast with or coffee with or whatever, andyou know i talk to about my life and i am vulnerable with them. But a counselor is someone who is anactual psychologist yeah. It sounds like you're counseling, with somethingtangible to your dad had a big impact on your life in a whole family yeah.Let me flip that script and say: is there anything that you would dodifferent than what your dad did or your mom said,yeah something different than your parents said that you want to do once you have kids. We all think that,though, right and like we like well i'm going to do that better, my kids aren'tgoing to scream i fit for that toy for real. I i mean seriously. We all thinkwe're going to handle it better and when i look back like and then you'rejust handing twenty dollar on, that's right, i'm you're! You know i m, i wasthe oldest sibling and i think do you. You have silin. Yes, i have two okay, older younger one,older one, younger okay. So i be curious if your older sibling isjealous of you, because i'm jealous of my brother in that by the time my brother transitioned outof high school into college, into like being an adult, my parents had alreadydone that and been through that, and so they were like cool. But for me that'sa tough transition. That's really hard to do because you do have to and the samething with my parents like eventually i have to stop seeing my parents as theend all be all voice in my life because for twenty years they are that rightand then now as an adult, they aren't and that's a tough transition not justfor me, because i have to be able to disagree and to be able to setboundaries and say i'm an individual person. But i also now didn't then, but now i understand,that's really difficult for them, because not that they have control, but really, especially for my parents, whostruggle with control to be able to give that up and allow meto be an individual person was difficult. So yeah, i feel like a lotof people. Listening are in that tent a to thirty year range and they're,probably trying to figure that out. How do i go from my parents being the end?All be all you know over my life to you know. What's this adult relate, youknow, and i would be interested- i don't know, i'm speaking as a personwho's not married in twenty seven and not married, because it seemed easier for my friendsthat got marriedyounger,...

...not that you should. But i'm sayinglike when my friends got married at twenty two. Twenty three marriageobviously means you're an adult go, do your thing is a marriage or is it kids see? That's why i'm wondering like domarried people without children still feel like their parents, don't treatthem like full adults yet and that's? It is a weird transition and adifferent time, and i hope that i can remember these things when it is timefor my kids to leave the house, because there was a lot of pain that happenedin that that time, where you know i had my first serious girlfriend and we hadtalked about marriage and my mom didn't think i was old enough yet, and thatbecame a fight or i had my first. You know the time that i wanted to leavethe church. I grew up at and go to a different church and it was kind oflike well. Is that because your girlfriend says this about this, or isthat? Because you actually think that or- and i think college students feelthis too of like? Oh- is this because that liberal education at your schoolor is this because and that's? I hope that i remember that when that's myseason, but i probably won't- and that's one that's another thing: i'velearned too i've learned to have a lot more empathy and understanding for myparents, of like they've, never had a twenty seven year old before and soyeah. We're all going to mess up we're all in that's part of only my crap tobas. I just go: oh, i messed up a lot and obviously we are all people justtrying to figure this out they're trying to figure out how to raise a kid yeah. Was there anything in that housethat they did maybe something that they did, thatlike created fun for the house or maybe something that's in your head thatyou're like oh, when i become a parent. This is what i'm going to do to makesure that i'm building a fun environment, because i know that, likethe typical thing is, you know family game night or for watching will offortune. That was what my family did. That was like how we bonded was will offortune an american idol and survivor yeah, but is there anything that you have inyour mind because i've seen friends, i mean moving from indiana and kentuckyarea down to orlando, like people live very differently down here sure andit's outside the box, like you go into a living room that doesn't have atelevision and i'm like what are you doing here and they're like oh well, wehave this stage so when our friends come over, they actually will just getup there and play music, and we just like hang out- and i was like livemusic and there's a giant projector screen, that's like showing disneynature, videos or somethin, and we've got magicians around here, doing magicand i'm like wow. This is amazing. I've never thought of this. As far as i myfamily goes, i think one thing my parents did really well was thechampioned my i'm gonna call him hobbies but likewhenever i wanted to be a drummer and be in a band. My parents got me anelectro drum kit because they didn't want to listen to a real one, and so itis encouraging and also genius of the o for sure yeah. They were not dumb, myparents to sick drum, set yeah and then you're not allowed to play it and yeahso anyway, but that was one thing my parents did really well was. I was in areally bad band. When i was like a sophomore in high school, she had that.No and you know, and we made bad music, but myparents supported it. My parents, my parents, championed my creative outletsand so and because of that, it gave me a lot of confidence to be creative andto be imaginative and to try things. When i was a kid, i straight up wantedto be a ventriloquist, and my parents bought me puppets and you just hadpuppets in your room, not the creepy ones. You know not the creepy like one.I now know why you're terrified of anything scary, anything scary, is thati there's there was there all the time but like so, they supported what youwant in a model trains and me, and my dad started to build one of those bigmodel trained things together. They just created opportunities for me to dothose things and so and- and i don't even know if thatrequires- like a financial investment, you know like when i wanted to be apitcher in baseball. My dad set up a thing in our front yard that i couldthrow the balls into, and we found these like steroph one balls thatworked the same as baseballs, that i could throw toward the house thatwouldn't hurt the house, obviously, but they bounce back. So that way i didn'thave to have someone you know, and so, like he kind of figure out those thingsi like here, go practice in the art here you go like they championed myinitiatives, and that gave me a lot of confidence as an adult to do what i donow, because i guess i just always assumed things will work out. You know,but i think that's that's one thing is, they gave me permission to do thosethings, and so i'm glad they did that, because now i give myself permission todo those things right now, my back porch i have inflatable hot tub, youknew i was going to bring it up. You knew i was going to bring it up so yeah, because it's a business expenseis a business evince wereport a podcast...

...in it, but it was one of those thingswhere i was going to have a lazy river were a strae up. I a friend was likeyou know they make invoidable hot tubs and as soon as she said it i went. Iwant one of those and i just was up and it was just kind of like i want to makea space for myself, and so i saved up some money i put someaside and then you know, i spent a few months putting some some money away andi bought a little tv to put out there and a hot tub, and i just did itbecause it was one of those things i was like. It's okay for me to like notindulge but to to do something that i enjoy. I have permission to do that formyself, so many people think that, like they put their time into thingsthat they don't actually enjoy, hustle hustle hustle is what a lot of peoplewant. To think that you know hey. This isthis is how i make it big. Just hustle is old, but you said something we'relike in the line for the navy river adventure, and you mentioned somethingabout the sabbath yeah and it wasn't just like something i've heard before biblicallylike you, you have your own philosophy behind it. Yeah i working from thatsabbath. Can you? Can you give our listeners just something about thatthat give them permission, because i think there's so many people that needto hear that yeah yeah, that's something that like radicallychanged my life in two and seventeen was beginning to take a sabbath,admittedly, in two thousand and twenty every day felt like the seventh, so igot kind of bad at it and that, but again it's another thing.That's a little bit like a muscle and training yourself to do those things,and so so for me, my sabas tuesday, somonday night i put my phone away, but my laptop away in my office. First ofall, every night i charge my phone in my office and i put it away at likeeight thirty nine o'clock at night. So i have time before i go to bed to notbe i used to like lay in bed and just be on my phone. Like most americansdude, i i would i would just i would. I would follow asleep scrolling instagramor whatever yeah and like which is not good for you and then i chand, then thealarms on my phone right. So i wake up turn it off and immediately check solfor media. That's how i started my day so telling people to spend the ten larsfor the old data, stupid, alarm, clock, dude, yeah, a hundred percent chargeyour phone in another room. I have never slept better in my life and i'mnot joking, like i'm not like who ave new slip better in my life, i'm sayingi've. Never slept better in you know, and so so i already do that and thenmonday night, around dinner time, i put my phone away. I put my laptop away, ishut it in my office and i go to dinner by myself or withfriends whatever it doesn't have to be. You know, t t do an isolation thing. Ijust go to dinner and it's usually like an olive garden, because i'm a guarddog, it's funny. No, i will grab dinner and then i like to read a lot. So youknow i try to create some time, but it's really about creating space tolike the walks and and what tuesday has become is just one day of a walk i used,you know is for that debt. Okay, w, okay, pando expres! No, but you know, i'm saying is like abeing intentional about creating space to see god move, because one thingabout the hustle is that it just doesn't create any space for creativity.It doesn't leave any space for you to breathe. It doesn't really even leavespace for you to fail at something, and it totally requires you to producesomething. Then your whole life becomes about what you produce that day and ifyou didn't produce anything, you feel like a failure, so the sabbath feelscounter intuitive because you're not producing anything. That's literallythe point and the point of not producing something is to remember thatyour production is not your survival, that your production is not how youmake it through the world that your value and your identity is not aproducer. Your value and identity is that you were known, seeing loved andcared for by jesus, and so it's not about like a oh. I just want to have aday off. It's a god has given you the sabbath for you to not to come rollinginto it. Monday night, like oh, my god, thank you. I can finally rest but tocreate a space where you are reminding yourself like it's a whole day ofyellow it's a whole day of oh yeah. God does care for me and see me. God istaking care of me. I don't have to take care of myself. God is meeting thoseneeds, so i don't have to today. God is the producer, the caretaker the giverand i am receiving from him, and so instead of rolling into tuesday. Likeoh thank god, i made it. I get to step into wednesday out of rest. Instead ofworking to get to rest, i work out of a place of i don't need to produce. Iwork alongside god to unlock whatever. That is that god has put into me and icreate a long side with him. Instead of creating to get o to him, i think it'sas especially in the society we're...

...living in. It's like that's, not howyou get ahead. It's people think that chick fille isstupid for closing on sundays, they're losing out on so much money. Oh i'veheard it so many times exactly the you that is open during, like the superbowl they'd make, you know all kinds of stuff and in the end honestly, for meit does the opposite, because sunday, all i'm doing is thinking of chick fileso of those next six days an there. Every day, because i'm like with thiscould close at any time i know, but but more than anything, is that your is trying to remember the businessinsider article i read about. It was not even a christian thing. It was. Itwas like a business article right and they were talking about a stop day iswhat they call it. The stop day where you just don't do any work. You don'tanswer emails. You don't think about work. You train your brain to not thinkabout and be around those things right, and they said that it can add up toeleven years to your life. Okay, you got a calculator on thisthing, i'm sure we get a caculate. If i remember how to do the math onthis, because it's pretty incredible so you take one day off a week every yearright, that's fifty two days yep! Let's say you do that for eighty years right. How many days is that so fiftytwo times, eighty, that's like four sand. Okay, so divide that number by threehundred sixty five, so for every day that you take offyou're, adding it to the end of your life, so he's they're saying that by taking astop day, people live eleven years longer. If they do this, so let's saythat for your whole life, you take a day off of work. That's four thousand!Whatever days right, if you spread that out that's eleven years so for everyday, you're taking off of work, you're, adding it to your life, i don't thinkthat's on night, that was a business insider article yeah. They were like onaverage, like the people who take a stop day live eleven years longer onaverage. I don't think, that's a coincidence that that many days adds up to eleven,i'm just that was that's weird right, so that feels like it's baked into our dna. So i think that when you create spaceto one be alone that gives you the opportunity to own your crap right,because there's no way you can own your stuff without intentional introspection.There's no way. That's one of the things that's appealing about thehustle is that this is what i've produced. So, therefore, this is what iam and so because i don't have time, i don't have to sit there and go. Why ami doing this yeah? Your whole identity is in what you're making yeah you'reputting out that that is all that is me, so when two thousand and twenty happensand you're no longer able to produce at the rate that you would so many peoplelast year had an identity crisis, which is why i'm so passionate aboutcommunity is that suddenly a lot of people who had their whole identitybased on what they could produce, couldn't produce anything, and so theyhad a full out identity of like who am i? What am i even doing here? What'sthe point which is created the all this animosity, these people were so angrylike let's go back to work. Let's do this stuff, let us keep producing,because if i don't do that, then i don't have value, and i think that thereason we saw a lot of christians do it. Sorry, i'm talking fast with youpassionate, let's preach the reason the christians do. It is because their identity is what they can do forgod and what they can do for the for the kingdom of gone instead of being a part of the kingdom as far aslike i'm known, loved and seen by god already, regardless of what i do, hedoesn't need me to do that like he wants to be with me. Not he wants me todo something for him. I think that at that resonates with me, because a lotof times when you hear testimonies, i feel like it's a lot of this is thecrap that i used to do so it's like kind of glorifying the crap and thenthe next part is- and this is all the things that i'm now involved in thethis- is now what i am doing for god and it like a lot of times just missesout on the whole point of just the relationship there, and i feellike that. If you told that story of say say you and reagan, are there atyour wedding day and you're telling her your whole story about your love storyis all the girls in the past and then you go into all the things that you dofor her. That's not love! It's weird! That's very weird! You know, and so,when you put that into context and and you kind of grasp like like god's notlooking at you giving gold stars yeah, he just kind of wants you there and alot of the pain that i put myself through before was pain, because ididn't realize that i was already loved and cared for, and so the love of godgives me a confidence that i walk taller and i laugh harder, and so ithink to the first question that you...

...asked, if you're a couple and you'restruggling with how do we add laughter into this yeah and i'm like well lowerthe bar, which doesn't mean lower the bar of whoyou're dating oh, but no i'm so o. No, but lord, like the thing, is thatyou're taking yourself so seriously because often times the times, i takemyself the most serious other times when i am knit picking myself and i'mso critical of myself, because i'm sitting here trying to get it right andthe thing that radically changed. My life was when i understood that godwasn't like waiting with his thumb over me for me to mess up and just squash me that god was waiting for me to quit,trying to do it on my own and for me to say god just want to be. I want to bewith you as much as you want to be with me and that that rest, that offers, bygoing on the walk and looking for the color by setting aside a whole day tosay this is this: is the the i'm going to look for that color all that that'swhat this whole thing is, what it does. Is it energizes the restof your week that you'll see that popping up more and you can work fromthat place of rest. So that way, your work isn't tainted by having to produce or having to provesomething, but it's fueled by there's a guy whocares for me and knows me so now, i'm free to work out of a place of beingloved and not not a place of working to get love. Hey! Thank you. So much jarenfor being here taking time out of your life to come down and go to disney havesome fun. But i am i here for disney that hurts a little. I felt it in thatgiggle. You were like yeah. So how can our people listening inright now or watching? How can i find you first of all the blind date, the emy girlfriend? You can watch our first date on amazon, prime, so you got thatit's comedy go. You can look up the blind date and that should pull that up.Also instagram tick, tock twitter. All that it's just all at jaron, meyersyou'll be able to find me on there. I do a podcast that comes out everytuesday called things erling last night. If you are struggling to laugh, pleaselisten to our podcast because we'll laugh for you, that's just a wholething in jack laughter straight in straight up all we do if you don'tthink that i'm funny right, that's fine, because i sure do and that's obvious inthat podcast we it's just so much laughing and so much hang. So i thinkthat you'd enjoy it a lot, but yeah we put stuff out every week, and you canmessage me on instagram if you're a person that like listen to aconversation and you're like oh you know, i resonate with that or i want tohear more about that or i've got both recommendations out the wazoo. Somessage on instagram, i read all that. Don't message me mean things though idon't read those awesome all right, y'all. We hope you loved thatconversation here, young mary christian. We are on a mission to see a gospelcentered home made available for every single child in the foster care system.There are four hundred thousand kids in the foster system and there are fourhundred thousand churches in america. You all the church can solve thisproblem if you want to join us on this mission text, the word freedom to eightthr, three, three, seven, oh one, six one! Oh another thing you can do tohelp us grow. The reach of this podcast is to leave a rating in apple podcast.It's super simple, just go to the show's page scroll down and give us arating for this show deboat s a good rating. I typically just count thefingers on my hand, and then i click that many stars all right. So we're nottelling you to give us a five star rating, but for the love of everythingholy. It would help us tone if you went and give us a rating. I guess for thatguy that has four fingers just add one. Yes, you don't even have to leave a reviewbecause, let's be real, that takes too long just go to apple fied gas andleave us a rating. Yes, but seriously, though, if you do nothing else at leasttext the word freedom to eight three, three, three: seven, oh one, six one oeight three, three, three, seven o o one and six one out a the three threeseven o one six, one o th th, three, seven one, six, one o.

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