@jaronmyers - How to Add 11 Years to Your Life w/ Jaron Myers

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

In this episode, we talk to Jaron Meyers. He's a comedian with 1M+ followers all over the internet. The viral Chick-Fil-A rap video? That was him. The guy that did a blind first date on stage at one of his shows? That was him too. He's hilarious. He's thoughtful. He's incredibly smart. You're gonna love this episode.

You can find Jaron on TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, his podcast, or all over the internet here.

Welcome to the very first episode of young married Christian. At Young Mary Christian, we are in a mission to see a Gospel centered home made available for every single child in the foster care system, and in this episode you're going to hear Debo talk to Jarren Myers. Jarren is famous all over the Internet. I think he's got to where a million followers on tick tock get a video a chick fil a wrap go viral. A couple years ago they could had like over seventy five million views on facebook. He literally blew up a car in that video, so sorry if that was your car. But so one of the interesting parts of this conversation, one of the things that I got a lot of value from, was hearing Jarre and talk about a strategy that churches can take to engage their communities by partnering with Entertainers and Comedians. Yeah, very cool. He also talks against hustle culture and, instead of working to rest, working from rest, which is a very interesting take on the Sabbath. So hold onto your prayer beats, tiffany, because we are young Mary bump bumps up Christian. So we almost got faked out with Taco Bell earlier today. We thought that that was James Secret, which is a fun bit. That's a really funny thing if you say we're going to this like local place and then you go to a Taco that's funny. But I would have respected the heck out of that. You know, and he's like walk king US everywhere, like acting like he's on maths. Okay, I remember the way this local you guys are love to Taco place. Okay, so I was especially their potatoes. Oh, they're like cheese and potatoes, the only here in Orlando, and you know, and then you're hypered up and then you walk it at that's hilarious. And it was a talk about Cantina. So you're like, yeah, this is is that what fancy TACOBOT is talking about? Cantina? I mean, yeah, I guess the only one I go on. The other one I know of is Vegas, the CANTINA. It's got to be. It's got to be talking about fancy. Yeah, there there was a thing that McDonald's try it out with. So it was just Indiana, Kentucky, only it was a McDonald's diner. Why would they do it in Indiana, Kentucky? Only? Because we will eat anything. So if they were like, you know these people, do they need a date night options it was, you said down at the table, and we had a telephone. First you would call the server and it was like steak and shake s diner style, and they had like a full menu, like you could get like a meat love for a road you would get a mike meat loaf. Is that what you're telling me? You weren't order a mick meat glove. That is disgusting. Okay, so the question is this, Whoa? I gotta skip over that because I don't want to answer it. Is that, let's say, I don't even believe they have meat love. On the day. Here's what I know happened. Okay, they did not serve meat love. Okay, it's just that you were trying to think of a fancy dinner option. You were like what a fancy restaurant certain and you went they have like a meat love, like you couldn't say, like they have a got a fish. They had a steak. You would they have meat loaf. Look, me, loave was on the menu once a week at my house. So and that will just go to that. I go to that. I got to meet love and I go to Salisbury steak. Have you had crapper barls met love before you C I usually get biscuits and gravy. Oh, you look okay, that's my good tom so, what's the question? Outside of Tuco Bell and Tis? Maybe that's your answer? Favorite fantast food restaurant other than chick fil okay, so I actually don't eat Taco bell or McDonald's anymore. Could have see you. Nothing against Tuco Bell Ar? Oh, everything against them, because, dude, is like a hurts my body that you got to survived in college. Yeah, I get there. It's true, dollar men, I eat. I eat a lot of Chipotley. I prefer Cutoba over Sipowy, but I the chripples across the street. And then, Oh, you know, my favorite one is pinned to express. So I will eat pain the express every day. Okay, straight like this, will right now the steak and shrimp walk. I'm not even I'm not even paid to say this stuff. I'm just out here like list some hand. To Express is where it's I've become a regular one paint express. I think if you look into the camera while you're saying it, though, it might become something you get paid for paint express, Panda Express. Are You doing the background? Yea, eyes, try and I write. You really do's some back romasing. I'll do a paint express. Worse. Okay, are we go? Huge? Good, but you...

...don't have the time for it. And Express Express. That was good. I'm going to make sure to say paid to express yourself. Is that a thing? Can we is that white suit? There's so many things are going. I'm thinking the same thing in my head. Honestly, I'm like we've already mentioned too many things. So we'll go to something that we know people for you to get suit, they would have to hear this podcast. Hey, and that would be viewership. We'll take it. We'll take it. What if the old people but listen to is pay the express headquarters when they're like trying to like put their lawsuit together against we like, who are the five people that listen to it? It was Taco Bell PR, McDonald's PR, the guy who came up at the mcdiiner. I. Yeah, the Creator of a mcneat loaf just make in front of everything, makes eleven actually was one of the viewers to yeah, I feel like the actually late. Yeah, he was like, well, I feel like they're going to bring me up and then he listens to that part and he's like do it. I think that your paint express song could get as big as your chick fil a wrout. I think it has that potential. I think that I should do a paint express so I agree. The only reason will be here's the thing. I'm tired of doing stuff for these companies and not getting free food out of it, like because that you're asked. That's where my ass from. Paint Express, pay the express. If you see this. I'll do anything for free food. So when your video, yeah, viral with with chick fil a, yes, there wasn't a hey, you can eat free once a week. You can get well to me, like you get an extra nugget every time. You can extra right, a toss a whole. You're like going through the drive through as many times. Just get that one times. Yeah, could. I am. That's a frugal I ams. I buy one eight count for my girlfriend and then we got to go through the line eight different times to get small fries, each time to gallons of gas. That a free eight count. I would like one eight count nugget. pleased. And then you drive through a second time. I like a small fry, so you that's let's see, for small fries. To drinks, that's six extra nuggets, and then Yogurt Parfaits, I guess, for dessert, or the peach milkshake when it's seasonally end that is true. Or the cookie. Hey, listen, round it. They don't like me that much. We got to get off chickfull it. I'm scared. You know. So, wait, they don't love you? Well, yes, they do. Okay, like me. I feel like there's more. They like me, but they didn't know I was going to do the video. So I put it out. And then so we put the video on a Thursday. Okay, that's Saturday. I get a phone call and from a non number. To me, it was just a Atlantic number. I answered it and she's like, Hey, this is kristen with Chick Fil Apr. I just wondering where you film that video. And I was like well, Kristen, you're calling me on my private cell phone number. So I feel like you know and I said it. So I'm going to hang up. I'M gonna call you back in like twenty minutes. And she's like, Oh, okay, you hung up. On a yeah, bunch of got to call my lawyer and be like, listen, am I gonna go? Like I'm gonna assume me for like Fiftyzero or whatever. It's like, hang up on God's knees. Yeah, it's like ending your prayer with like okay, it's no, no. Before hung up, I said, okay, I'M gonna call you back in twenty minutes. She's like okay, thanks. I was like okay, amen, and hung because I'm I know I'm talking to right and so, yeah, I called my lawyer friend and I said, Hey, am I going to get sued for this? And so we had done all the things on our end to make sure that that was a good to go situation. But we asked somebody who, I guess it wasn't their permission to tell us. Yes, does that make sense? So they should have. They should have the person that I asked. She'll have guy in front of chickfilay. Yeah, I just said, Hey, you hang out here a lot. Do you think this is all right? No, I asked the people at a store and they should have asked corporate and corporate would have been like no, but they didn't. So, but I did that my due diligence of asking and so I was already I was covered. So and he was just a nice guy, you know, and I said he was like, yeah, we would love for that to happen. He was yeah, your career? I think. So he knew this was your career. This wasn't just like a dream, like you were just some random guy like so all my dream to do a wrap in chick fil A. Well, at the time I ate chick fil a a lot. They name like that was so at the time I was treating chick filay the way I now treat pan to express, where I was there every day. So every time you say Pan Express, we just look in at the camera, panic parks and restyle anyway. So I was either every day and eventually he goes, Hey, you're here like breakfast and lunch and sometimes dinner, like all in the same day, which means that you don't have a job like he was like. He's like you're either. Could I would. I would really, I would be there three meals a day and it's like for that schedule to work,...

I've got to be doing nothing and on Sundays you were starving. No, I bought two, two meals on Saturday so that on Sunday I reheat it. Obviously I'm not an amateure, and so no, but he noticed that I was there a lot and he was like, so what do you do? We got the conversation about, like, I'm a comedian and he was like that's awesome. I you know, I became he was doing the whole community building thing and so we got to know each other. He's like anything I can do to help, and then I was like actually, you know, maybe we could do a music video or whatever. So yeah, I got you know, we wrote the lyrics, wrote the song. I came up with the idea in March of two thousand and seventeen and then it came out in November of two thousand and seventeen. So a lot of people don't know the work that goes into these kind of things. So so we recorded it in the summer. So I had I had a friend who's like an actual rapper make the beat and then I gave him my lyrics and he was like these are rough. Was not the originally. Well, they are, but he helped me make them fit into a rap, because that makes sense, instead of being like, you know, I don't know, like I don't even remember what the original flow was, but he helped me fit it into the in two thousand and seventeen are our rap was very on par with the Trinity Songs. Yeah, now it definitely sounds like a two thousand and seventeen song, which is okay, which is fine, because it was great for two thousand seventeen. It it be a nostalgic would be playing in the clubs in ten years. I hope be awesome. I don't anyway. And so all the people in the clubs are like chickful a. They love it and seeing the club's attached to chick flay, it'd be like a different club chickfula. It's like the restaurants that are trying to do. Yeah, different thing. Yeah, you know, we put the song out in November and we would recorded the video in October. So I sat on a video for a month and then we put it out right before Thanksgiving because I figure people will be home on their phones at Thanksgiving. That's what you do with Thanksgiving is you just avoid your family. You eat a lot, a lot to avoid talking. I thinks giving. What I do is I lean forward and say something controversial and then lean back and like let everything erupt. Okay. So do you have an example? Is Your family divided on stuff? My family was like, you know, everyone's got real strong opinions. Oh, you know. Yes, yes, especially when it's like an election year. Yes, it's exactly. Do you say skip this year, dude? So I don't. That's the years I leaned it other like I go to dinner as a wrestle mania you do. I'm like eating potatoes and I was like, I'm just like, Oh, you know, I don't know, I just think they should take our guns. It's like looking around, you know, and like like it's funny. Your uncle's are fistfighting, your grandma's trying to smooth it over. She's like, I've got pie and you're like is it impeach cobbler, you know, and it's it's fun. We might have the same family. So with the whole chick fil a, you know, video, you go viral, you explode and that's kind of your first break. Yeah, what what happens after that? At that time, in two thousand and seventeen facebook views kind of mattered and so now it's a lot harder to get those kind of views on facebook, but at that time that video ended up with like seventy five million views on it just seem like the first couple months, in the first week it got five million on my page and that was like that was a big number, you know. And so I guess in my mind I'd always at which I knew was going to happen. We to the chick fil a wrap. I knew why we were making that. Like we set a real car and fire and I was like, I think this is going to hit pretty hard. And so in my head, you know, because I had been doing stand up and seals and fourteen, and so that's three years kind of building up to this. And in my head all I needed was a video to go viral and then I would be on late night shows and I would you then I'd be able to go out and do, you know, anywhere and get people to show up. And what happened? There's a shift in the Internet where having a viral video one it got shared by a bunch of pages, and so then I became like the chickfil a guy, which is why they called me. They called me because they didn't want me to be the chickfil a guy because they didn't want like, they didn't want me to be associated with their brand. They don't want chickflay to become a subway, yes, honestly, and so they didn't want to have like a guy, especially if I didn't work for them. So, but to a lot of people that's the only thing that knew me from. So then it became a challenge of now I've got to get these people who have seen this video to know that I do stand up and to know that I do other things. And that has, honestly, been what the last four years have been, is trying to not be the chickful Le Guy and so, which is fine, I mean, but it's fun when...

...people will see my new content and then they'll comment be like wait, is that? That is the chick fil a guy, and I coming back like yeah, I do other stuff. You know, say I have a whole array. I yeah, I do. Yeah, I do a lot of stuff. Yeah, I got too much sometimes. Yeah, I feel like diving into your pages. Your sketches are something that kind of stick out to me as far as, yeah, very highly produced, like the production values phenomenal. Thank you, and I'm seeing this stuff thinking, oh my goodness, this is some of the best stuff I've seen. You talk about chick fil a, your relationship with them. What about Dave Ramsey, because one of your videos, I mean you go all right into Dave Rams well. So basically what I've tried to do is I have because there's a few of these things that have could following. Dave Ramsey is one of the things as a cult following, right. So my strategy was, if I can do a video that is that hits that Colt, then they'll share it among each other and that'll then because obviously they're they're the people who just like radically support something. So I'm kind of like, Hey, won't you round a close report me? You know, yeah, I live in Orlando. I know, yes, didn't adults, you don't for sure. So if I can do things that are around that kind of the kind of person. That sounds bad, but you know, you don't even talk about like the kind of person who's already following something or that, if I can make something that is for them, and I can, and I you know, my parents got that free because the Dave Ramsey stuff so that was stuff that like I knew, and so I did financial peace university. Yeah, yeah, so I was like, Oh, I know this, I'm a part of this, and it's a way of like hey, I have that shared experience. I remember what this is like. This is a funny kind of poking fun at thing and I know that there's an audience for it already. And so, but that's the other side of that is I got seventy five million views on the chick fil a wrap, the Dave Ramsey thing. It hardly Dave Ramsey community. A lot of people shared it and all this groups or whatever and it got some views, but it's still it's it didn't become the thing where all of a sudden I was touring and doing this as like a great living, you know, and which was something that was discouraging in two thousand and seventeen was now people it's hard to describe this because people will associate millions of views with money. So they think that you got a bunch of views, that means that you're rich. Oh yeah, and so right, which is I would think, looking at your chick fil a and just your day Ramsey alone, like Oh, this guy's he's made it right. You would be sure that's what anyone listening to this, that sees the episode called Jeremyers, is thinking. That guy's made it. He he did. He has hup, like humbled himself to talk to this. Oh, I thought you were I thought you were saying that this podcast was the peak. They are like you're like, Whoa, he's on this podcast. Who you know? Yeah, that's how they all acted. They're like WHOA. But that's, honestly, like something I love about, you know, this show, is it? To me seems like we're getting a normal guy in front of someone who is like a Oh my gosh. And you know, I was thinking about it earlier, like wow, that's kind of how we are as Christians with God and just like so in this, in that or analogy. I'm in the anally, like the analogy is not perfect. I like that one. I like that analogy. We should use that. I like that. I think that that's why the these shows, these types of shows, work. Sure, you know, like the Joe Rogan experience, because people want to feel like they know you. Oh yeah, they want to, they want to feel like they can hear just a normal conversation with you and so hearing something like Oh, I haven't got it all together after one video blows up. So what is life like for you then, if it's not just counting your money all day long? I think that there is a part of the Internet that sells that. The Hustle Culture sells this, you know, work until you don't have to kind of thing. Yeah, and so there's the idea that you'll work eighty hours a week, ninety hours a week, and then one day you'll just coast, and I have found that one. That's a complete lie. What there's they're capitalizing on the way they're making money. Is you buying their course, they don't actually do anything else. But no, you know, I think that people, the average person, doesn't know the work that goes into a lot of what I do, and especially stand up just as an art form. People think we get on stage and just kind of talk, but they don't know that I have a store about possums in my shows, a ten minute story, okay, and they don't know that for a year I did it as raccoons and I was like, I got these pictures of raccoons on my phone and you know, I tried that...

...and it was funny and it works and then one day I switch it to possum and the word possum is funnier than raccoon because people just Gott tell it. Well, not that it's just got that puff sound like the word. The word pickle is funnier than the word cucumber, like Poopoo. Yes, honestly. Yeah, so people don't know the art of when you just switch one word and you're trying that out in front of audiences and then you switch something and it works better and then so then you do it the same way every time. So you're constantly a recrafting. Yeah, people don't. People think that we're just getting up and telling stories, but we're telling stories in a very methodical, practiced way. And I practice a story to tell it like I've never told it before, because I got to go out and tell look, four hundred times a year, right, you know, and every audience has to think it's the first time I'm telling it. And how is it being on stage and let's say five nights in a row, your your bit doesn't hit? How is that first? All that ever happens to me. I crush every time. That's right. That's right. No, dude, it's exactly they're so what's that? What's what is that process for you? Oh Man. So Internet contents fun because we can edit it together and you can like do your timing. Just ride and you can know that. But I love stand up because you get on stage and you can't you if you mess up a word, you can't undo it. HMM, you know she has a Christian comedian. Yeah, if you said we wrong word, I don't church that. You're they're like what what did he just say? But honestly, then your cameraman just turns. The audience gets that react, their La's it guys lights out. I'm like thanks. Well, you don't even opportunity turn your mic off, you know, like you actually say word, they're like shocking it out. No, I mean, but you know, if you're if you're speaking and you're like, you know, I don't know. I have said jeep rang like a jeep or forward wrangler before. You know, like that kind of thing is where you can't just be like, whoops, it's a Ford Ranger or a you know, instead of a Jeep Ranger. You don't go back and correct it. No, is he was going gotta keep going and there's that guy in the audience thinking the whole time. Well, you can, but it flow. It messes up your whole flow, like if you're if you're talking, you're telling the story and you're like have the guys in the back of his his Ford Wrangler Ranger, you you know, it just messes up the flow. And so with on. With online content, you can really curate it and you can edit it and make it what you want it to be. And I love the potential awkwardness of live shows, like I love the what I riff with an audience or just kind of or like I make something up on the spot, like but nothing compares to because the Internet, you you stack your jokes up and you know that the video is funny, but I don't get to see people watch my videos. It's actually super awkward whenever I'm in a room and someone's like if you guys seen this guy's video, and they'll pull it up like you're I'm just sitting over here. Yeah, that's me there. I'm just I'm literally just like okay, and they're like and you just your boo and they're like listen to the rap and you're just thinking, and they'll watch it and they'll look up at your brother. H Do they ever ask you like? You know, that was good, but you're here. Can you just do it for us right here right happens a lot. Yeah, that's I can use rap or some people would be like, can you do an acoustic version of the rap which leads the St our next segment? No, but you know, I actually I'm glad I didn't do this because it's I had talked to Ashley last night and said, Hey, you know, we're having we got jarn in town. We should invite him over to one of our friends game nights. We don't tell them who he is and then we just play it on. We we play games and then I say, you know what, there's this hilarious video I gotta show you. Guys start showing videos of you and just see how long it takes some befo their like as I was on a bachelor, not a bachelor it was like a birthday party I went to in like December, and we start talking about chickfilay because I I like their business model. So I was talking and this one of other guys is like a guy who owns businesses and you know, we were talking about, like here's why chick play successful. And so we're just talking about chick fil a. One of the other guys in the groups is like, Oh, dude, you would love this song. I saw one time and I was like Oh really, and like he's like googling, he's pulled up the chickfil a rap. He's always just wrap that. You'RE gonna love it and he watching and I'm just like Oh, cool, okay, because here's the other thing too, is that there's another chick fil a wrap. One of my friends, Shama, did a change. So if I'm at my house and I say Alexa, play chick fil a wrap, she plays his song. Okay, because his because his ass Chickfila wrap on the title. But I see he's better. Well, mine, okay, but I'm glad we got the right guy. He's like, Oh, we were, we just look up chick fil a RAPP and accidentally booked you. Well, this episode just called Best Chickfla rap. So so it's Shama did a chick fil a rap, and I'm always a little worried when someone's like I'm gonna pull this...

...chick fil a rap, you're gonna love it. That they're going to pull and because I can't be like, oh, yeah, that's mine. And then they pull up Shama, who is his black guy from South Carolina, and they're like that's not you, like you know. So. Anyway, so he's pulling up the chick fil a rap and then I it takes him a couple of seconds. He's watching it and he's goes and you're look at he's pust the phone away and I'm just saying they're like like, I it wasn't because because you can't say, they're huh, yeah, you know, like I'm seeing that. I'm I'm seriously terrified. I'm just sitting there like like it was weird. Anyway, you can't be more terrified than the blind date scenario where where you're literally in front of an audience. Yeah, first of all, I thought one day I'm going to tour and do theaters. Right, that was one of my one of it's been a dream. Still as a dream. I would love to tour and do theaters in different cities. When I was nineteen, I have this dream of doing a theater tour. We're like, as much as I love stand up, the thing I love about stand up is that it could fail. Like I like doing jokes that, like, that's the fun of it is when you're writing new jokes, right, so you're writing new stuff, you're testing it out, and the only way to tell something's actually funny is if you say it and the audience laughs, like that's the only way to tell. And so I like whenever I tell a new joke and it doesn't hit and I go okay, all right. So I got to try to rework that right. So then I started thinking of different ways to kind of include the audience in different angles, and one of them was I was going to do a tour called dating with jared and I was going to do a whole Dinner Date night where I walking on stage and I've got a table and I'm just facing the audience and the audience is my date. So I was going to do a show where I'm just out there and I'm getting to know the audience and, you know, talk with asking the random questions. Of I was going to have a and that was like maybe I have a server come out, you know, and but you had a server come out. Well, I haven't done this. This is this is like in my head. Okay, like the dream of like doing a theater tour and I was like, okay, I have a server come out and maybe he and I can like work out some like kind of skit type things. What if that girl didn't know that we were going to do that? And so that's how the blind date was born. was what if I just went on a date in front of an audience? But what if we didn't tell the girl I was going to do that? So so we got to have the right person. Well, you did right, yeah, which so we had a plan. So we went to the small theater. I didn't want to do a massive kind of room. It's only fifty people. And so, you know, we put the dinner tables there at the beginning of the show and I told the audience the show starts at seven, at seven o'clock. Okay. And so a couple days before I message this girl I've never met before on facebook. I really did, like I just friend requested cute girls in my college down because that's just I was just like, I know, you know, I got mutual friends and you know, because I'm funny on the Internet. This and this is two thousand and fourteenwo thousand and fifteen that I actually became friends with the girl, a Reagan, who came to the date in two thousand and four team. In two thousand and fourteen, where I'm a college student, we didn't know the Internet was as dangerous. HMM, you know. So we were just accepting friend requests as just kind of a whatever. So, anyway, she accepted my friend request. So we're friends on facebook for several years and then in two thousand and eighteen, I message her on facebook and I said, Hey, I'm going to this comedy show. I'm supposed to have a date. You want to go with me? And then she's like sure, so makes sense right. Well, I think her roommate was like a mutual friend of mine. Like her roommate had done comedy. So she and so she absolute roommate. She was like she was like Hey, is this guy creepy? And her room it was like no, he's fine, and so that was, you know, it was our it was all right. We actually found out that I had done a podcast interview at her apartment before, because I had done a podcast interview with her roommate at their apartment. Okay, and so before I ever knew this girl. Anyway. So she walks to the venue. So she meets me there. I told her it started thirty. So the audience got there early, right, they get there at seven. MMM, I tell her it starts at thirty. At seven o'clock the show starts. I go out to the audience and I explained to the because they didn't know either. They bought tickets to just a normal comedy show, so they thought. They thought they were going to watch me do stand up, and then I walk out to the audience and I was like, listen, that's on. What's going to happen? So I wondered like their thoughts, like did they have a reaction that we oh, yeah, it was super awkward. Some people were like oh no, they're like what's happened? So we so I went out and I said your families and audience, my parents, my grandma, my brother, yeah, Kod Lord, so, and a bunch of my friends, and think some people, some people knew what was going to happen, like my parents, obviously I told them beforehand, and my friends and stuff, but I just told the audience. I said, listen, my dates going to arrive at about twenty minutes and we're going to get to know Reagan. And the reason I say we is because...

I have also never met Reagan. So parents were in full support of that. Like yeah, I mean it's just a show, like it's not in my head. It wasn't a date, it wasn't like a real okay, yeah, because I because it's a show, you know, we're going to do a thing. It's an experimental thing, and I had someone waiting in the so okay, so I'll walk into the thing. When people came in the audience, we put an x on half of their hands and then I said, if you have an ex on your hand, you need to go back to the lobby because I'm going to meet Reagan outside and we're going to stand in line and buy tickets to this show. So, because then, if everyone's already in there, there were the last ones to get in whatever. You know. So we are walking into we're in line and the and they're just recheck it. They're like handing their tickets over and re checking in, getting sat in the seas they were already in. There's two seats in the front row. We walk in. We're not even the last ones to walk in. I plan that too, for two other couples to walk in behind us, so we're not just sitting down all the suddens like. Well, now I'm glad these two were here, so you get a little bit of time to introduce yourself. Yeah, I was like couple things. Well, so, like we're sitting there and I was like, I can even new a show here before I said so, then I had to get her miked up. I had to get us with microphones because I knew we're going to be on stage. So the host of the show comes out and you can obviously see the cameras. It's kind of like these. Yeah, like you can see them, they're not hidden. And so the host of the show comes out. was like, Hey, you're going to see a standup show tonight. By the way, we're recording this, so we want to get some good audio. So, you know, make sure your phones on silent. Don't go to the bathroom in the middle of someone set, obviously, and also we want to get a few audience laughter individuals to mix into the audio to give it a full sound. Are there any volunteers who be willing to wear a microphone? And I had two other people raise their hands and then I was like, oh, we will and so let in and her thought is and she's like she's the host is explaining it. So her thoughts was like okay, she's not thinking anything different about putting a microphone on. So then to text come over and put microphones on, and I also had two text go to the other people who raise their hands, so that she's not suspicious, because now there's a couple people in the audience wearing mics, you know. So she's got she has no idea. Oh My. And so then I had two of my friends do stand up. So he said Hey, welcome Tom Gray, and Tom comes out and does five minutes of stand up and then and then Tom one off. And then he said Hey, you know, welcome Nick Nichols, and Nick walks out and does stand up and I was like, oh, that's my friend, you know. And then and then the host comes out afterwards like all right, he gues. Ready to see your headliner tonight? Would you welcome J and Myers it. Wait, who does she think the headliner is? Does she know? No, you just she started comedy show. So she didn't know him and asked. I told her my friend was on the show, which was the second one, and I was like, oh, that's my friend. So she wasn't like is this Jim Gas? She wasn't any no, no, she wasn't, because it's like a small be she's thought as a local springfield show. Yeah, so, and the dinner tables just on stage the whole time, like my friends are just performing in front of it. And and so it's just sitting there. And so I get up and I do seven minutes of stand up, which is the right amount of time, because the audience knows that I'm about to pull her up there. She's got no idea. So I'm doing stand up and the audience is like cool, dude, like pull her up there already, but she sitting there. I wanted to get the right amount of tension because the audience, I can feel them getting a little more tense where they're like because they're laughing at the jokes, but they're kind of like, Huh, you're going with the show. We want to see what happens like when you know your friends going to propose and yes, and they're and they're just kind of like we just want to see the ring right, but she has no idea that's about to happen. So she I wanted to give her the amount of time for her to sit there and go h and then in her head she's like did he did he invite me to his own show? Like this guy invited me to his own comedy show? Like I wanted it to be just long enough. And then when I felt the tension was right, as when I was like, I'm on a date right now, and then, as a Reagan would like you join me on stage for dinner. Okay, but in that moment, right, you're asking Reagan up onto the stage and that's the first time where she's not just sitting being a bystander, know everything that's happening. And so now there's this moment where what if she just says Nope, right, or she she's run. So we one of my friends was in the lobby. What was with? With flowers? My Friend Lauren? Okay, she was in the lobby. Oh, okay, with flowers. Okay, waiting in case this, because we I didn't know anything about this girl. Okay, the only thing I knew was that we were friends on facebook. That is it. And so Lauren's waiting for Oh, there's a detail. I forgot to tell you. I sent that message to twenty one girls. So I didn't choose Reagan. Okay, I sent I message. Reagan's listening. It was just her. No, she knows. Oh, let me tell you, she knows. Okay, so probably lets you hear it. No, okay. So I sent a copy paste message to every girl I knew I had never met on facebook and, like I told you, I was a thirsty kid.

So I just mess I just friend requested these girls. Right, yeah, so I send Hey, I know that we don't know each other. I'm just supposed to go to a comedy show with a date on Monday. Would you want to go with me? And I just copy paste, copy paste, copy paste, copy paste, copy paste to twenty something girls. Reagan was the first person to respond. Don't out of whatever. Twenty something right, several of them responded. A lot of them just didn't. Okay, I'm just curious how many girls are responding to this run. I think I got, I mean for anybody like I got like six or seven responses. No, I sent a follow up message the next day. I said Hey, I was just doing the show. I hope that you know. Sorry if because I also understand from a girl's perspective like it is awkward to get a DM or whatever right. So, but I definitely have a reputation around Springfield now, and I know because Reagan was in college of the time and the like. Three days after the date she was in class and one of my facebook ads had popped up on another girl's facebook and she goes, she shows her friends, she goes, this guy message me and asked me on a date this weekend and three other girls in the class said me too, and Reagan's the sitting there, knowing why, went oh my gosh, me too. Didn't tell them. was just like, oh my gosh, what a sleezy guy, like I had just message all these girls who anyway. So she was just like I knew nothing about her. I didn't know, you know, I just knew were friends on facebook and I messaged her. So she could have left when I said would you like to join me for dinner? So we had someone with flowers on lobby. If she had run out, then they would have handed the flowers. I would have obviously followed and been like hey, listen, we weren't trying to make fun of you, I just wanted to do an experiment. Here are some flowers. You know, I had liked starbus gift card in there as well. Of like, you know, feel free to leave totally. I gave her the flowers of the in the night, but she didn't. She sat down a dinner and we, and the host of the show know the guy that was out there, like guys were recording and would you welcome your headliner? He was the waiter. So he comes back with an apron on later, and so that's why the day he walks out in the audience is like, Oh, okay, all right, you know. So it was fun. We, I mean, you know, we ate the whole dinner in front of everybody, and and and then, and now is is Reagan. Well, and now, three years later, we're, you know, still going on dates. So it worked out amazing, which wasn't the plan. I'm a little mad, yeah, because was your plan to you are just going to do this bit one night. You're I was going to do a tour of this. This was your whole time. I wanted to figure out how to do this another cities. I wanted to figure out like they we passed the Orlando Improv stuff over here, right, sure, yeah, I wanted to figure out how to partner with them so that I could roll in, they would find me a date and then we could just do the same thing. So I had to be jeremiers blind date. Yep, and people show up and they get to watch you on a date. Yes, is what I us for. Any like, I feel like any nobody do it. Stop. I own the idea. Don't. Don't be like as genius. I mean other comedians should do that. Don't bet. It's not like people are ripping your ideas on. TICKTOCK. Anyway. That's a different topic. Yeah, yeah, and to those people. But yes, just to those people. Is that it? Is that quit it or you you like? You like that? I don't like it. No, comedy doesn't work the same way as music does. It's not like a cover. So it's not like if I create the mock arena and everybody's doing the mock ran I'm like, my dance has made it your Vinian rights doesn't want it doesn't work to a comedy doesn't work the same way because once you've heard a joke, you know you've heard the punch line. That's it's kind of like there's a whole series of videos where a magician was revealing how magicians do the tricks. And so then you can't, you can't watch a magician do that trick then, right, because because the whole time you were like I know how it works. Yeah, and it's like me the cards, I'll do it right. So, anyway, yeah, at the end of the date I dropped Reagan off and she left her wallet in my car. So the next day I go out of my car there's her wall in the passenger seat, which is a smooth move, right, because I got to return the wall that day. But now that I've been dating her for three years, I realized that she did not do it on purpose. Oh that was she just she just for she's forgetful. So she does accidentally left her wallet and it is worked out, you know. So we've been dating for three years now. That's phenomenal as well, man, it's fun. So the other night you had mentioned about partnering with Churches, HMM, in communities, bringing comedy into those communities. Yeah, tell us more about that. So, so a lot of what I want to do is I don't do I do Christian comedy, but not Christian comedy, if that makes sense. So I don't do like veggietales jokes and I don't go up and be like, you know, communion's weird because, well, in in the main reason is because I just realized, because I was on staff at a church and our whole vision was a safe...

...place to find anthology, Jesus Right. And so by doing that work at a church, I realized I would invite a lot of friends and I would do work at starbucks and I'm obviously a comedian, so a lot of my friends are comedians and I was always trying to get them to come to church with me and I realized that no one was accepting that invite and it didn't matter how close I got to them. There was something it wasn't. It wasn't that I wasn't good enough friends with them. You know, I'm talking about like it's like a best friend. It wouldn't matter how close I got to them. It that wasn't the obstacle. The obstacle was that they just weren't going to step foot in a church. HMM. And and I am I'm in the Bible Belt, so I don't know how well I know how universal it is, but it's very common in the Bible Belt that a lot of people grew up with pretty negative experiences in the church or from a Christian in their life, and so it didn't matter how much I invested in a person, if my goal was to get them to come to church, then I was just never going to reach that goal. And so which at that's that wasn't my goal. But you know, I'm talking about like I would have these friendships with people and I would say like hey, you know, I lead worship with this church and no pressure to come hang out, but if you got nothing else going on Saturday night or Sunday morning, like come with me, and they're like yeah, we can use lunch after like, okay, cool, I'll do and I'll do it. I'll not hundred percent, you know, yeah, but they just weren't going to accept the invite to a church. And so I think a lot of churches are doing an event with the hope that they're going to draw people in. So a lot of church as will try to book a comedy show and they'll treat it like an outreach event and the blue if we can just get this is I think this was really common. Of the two S. two is if we can make church cool, if we can do the right giveaways and if we can do like a big Christmas show, if we could do whatever it is, then we can get people into the building and then they'll come back. Yeah, I mean and all, Michael Jr, in a church. Right, we're right, and I do church shows, but right, I'm sure the whole audience were people that are also there on Sunday morning. Right, run, right. That's the thing is that the people who are going to come to a church are people who are already comfortable with the idea of walking into a church. So my vision for what I want to do is I want to give I want to create opportunities where you can invite your friend to something where it's a clean show, so you can bring your whole family, but also you're going to have an opportunity to invite a friend who may not know the hope of Jesus. And I share my story in the show. I share that. Listen like I almost took my life and I have the reason. I laugh every day until my abs hurt. And I know that right now you're like what ams? Okay, not the point, but I have never room to touche. Okay, but the reason that I have a joy and hope is because of Jesus, and so I share that in my show. And so I want an opportunity to do that with people who are just not going to step into a church. So they might not accept the invite to a Sunday service. They might not it. You could be given away a tenzero. They're huge. I am Max TV to put in their house, you know, and still some people would go I'm just not going to go there. So does that make you not partner with a church, or does that mean? Know, I so venue. So what I what I would hope to do is because, I said, because the reason I want to part with the local church is this, is that if I just rent a venue and go do a show, then I go home the next day. So like I'll do the show and I'll talk about my story and I'll say, Hey, listen, if you resonate with that, like this is where I found hope. But what I would love to do is partner churches. Let's have a venue that's not your church. Let's have a building outside of that so it's a common space. Because if you're inviting a friend to your church, they might not do that. But if you invite them to a local theater or a place where comedy already happens, like they know that that's just a comedy show, then they're much more likely to accept that invite. Right. And I would love to have a place to point those people who do come to my show and I say hey, if that resonates with you, if that's something that you're interested in, like I'm going to go home tomorrow, but there's this community here who would love to talk with you and they're out here in the lobby or they're out here outside of their there, you know, they would love to just introduce themselves and talk with you and answer any questions you might have, because I want to be able to set someone else up to not find a church home, right, but I want to help them find friends who will love them and care for them and nurture that faith. And so I'm not looking to get them to your Sunday service. And would you be doing these shows like on a Saturday night and then you show up that next Sunday like, and I've done that that next yeah morning, I've gotten and spoken at churches. HMM. Well, and I mean I was even thinking speaking just more of like A. You're in the lobby, so that where people come in. Hey, that's promoving guy. Yeah, that we saw last night. We love that's the reason why we came here. Yeah, so you're almost like a reader. Sure, yeah, is that what your thought is? Or I've done that before, but you know, if I'm doing I I've done like a Friday night show and I just fly home on Saturday or I go on to the next city...

...or do whatever. But yeah, I mean my goal is, I think a lot of church events can sent her on filling your building and I just become so uninterested in that. Like what I want to do because I want to connect people to the truth of Jesus. I am more interested in introducing people to Jesus and connecting them to people who will walk with them through that then I am of just introducing someone to the flow of church. Like because so, for example, my kid, my girlfriend, when we started dating, she was the kind of she was in a spot where she's like, you know, I believe in a God and I've heard about Jesus and I pray, but I don't really know what that looks like. Now, what Reagan didn't need was okay, great, so the prescription for that is to go to one service a week and, you know, go in there, listen to the message and then just reflect on that and you're going to grow. Well, she needed was friend and what she needed was people who cared about her enough and would ask questions and get to know her more than just hey, you know, are you reading a Bible every day? Are you going to are you serving at Church? What's the answer? Outside of them coming to a comedy show, what can churches be doing that is not just well, if we do more of Sunday morning, are more lights, we unit lasers. I guess for me, the the central part of what I hope ministry is for all of us is, like I'm saying, like I wish I had the capacity to go into a city, do a show and then personally invest in every person that comes to my show, but I don't have the capacity to do that, and so I would love to partner with churches in the area who you've got multiple people at your church that I could connect these people to that come to my show and they say I want to know more about that, and we can connect them to people who will call them and check in on them and more than just like hey, didn't see you last Sunday, but we'll call on a Tuesday afternoon and we're like hey, just wanted to see how your days going and be your friend. Yeah, it sounds like that. The church, you know, Big Sea Church. You know, US as believers just need to step up and not rely on our small group gatherings. Yeah, having to be something of the church. Like it's okay as Christians to just have a small group of people, your friends, your neighbors, without having to say this is a Soandso church. Yeah, small group and without having to have some kind of training. Yeah, that allows me to be a small group leader. You just have your friends over and have some drinks and choose your favorite, you know, Bob Golf Book or whatever. Yeah, when you say drink, you me, mcmuntain, do and Code Red, code, read their red, red drinks only. And what you're saying is so I think that people don't know how to be friends with each other, HMM, because they're always has to be. It doesn't feel productive, it doesn't feel like there's a like a direction, and so I'm saying that friendship with a motive is just manipulation, like that's not. That's not a friendship. And that's when two thousand and twenty happened. A lot of people realize just how transactional a large part of their life was when they're shut in. Who are the people who genuinely want to reach out and just say, Hey, are you handling this okay, and not reaching out to be like hey, are you handling some okay? And also, you know, like they were, ain't help moving. Well, it's kind of like being the friend that has a pickup truck, you know, and your friends call and the like, hey, how's it going? Also, you still got that for fo hundred and fifty, you know, and it's there's a reason I never bought a truck race exact. There's a reason no one wants to buy I pick up truck, and if you do, you don't tell anybody about it. People are like, what do you drive? Hondey, Alandra, Honda, Lantra? It's on a civic. It's rough, but you know, really they if there's a if there's a motive, if there's an angle, because love doesn't work an angle. That's not what that's. That's not what that is. And so I just I just hope that we could. That's one of the things that I would like to work on in my life. That's what I hope to get better at, is these caring for people because they're they're people. Yeah, just loving him because they're a person. That's the bare minimum. I love that. Yeah, I mean I feel like that. That is kind of your holy discontent like that. Churches wanting to just have people come in, you know on a Sundays, or churches kind of not really doing the evangelizing as much as they're doing the just like building up internally. Well, what they're evangelizing isn't Jesus. What they're evangelizing is be a church person, be a person who comes to a service and do these things. And not every church,...

...obviously that's not. That's a generalization, but I know for me that was a shift that happened when I was in college, was I was at a church where the goal was to get more people at Church and if we weren't then we were dying, and if we were growing, then we were growing in numbers. That's what that meant. Yeah, and I love the Church I was on staff at in Springfield and it's still like it's still my own church. Because growth wasn't about like more people in seats. And Yeah, it does it. I don't want to be a part of entertaining Christians and just creating an environments like, Oh, we all came together and we, you know, we all do the right things and say the right things and read the right things and and this is who we are. I want to be a part of what are we providing an opportunity for someone to encounter the Living God? Yeah, because if it's just about a program I'm not interested. Yeah, and I mean there are so many great things out there that are going on. Yes, and it's like they're not as advertised. You can just Google Search Justin's, you know, upper room. Yeah, eats like in a small part of town. Or and I there's a guy that I know who who bruises own beer and his garage and started a group of guys who want to learn how to brew beer, and so they'll do that and then just over a few beers they just talk and hang out afterward and that's like that's his weekly highlight, that's what he looks forward to. And they just read he's that brews, he brews. Yes, yeah, that's what they yeah, but I mean like, because that is, that is the whole reason we started young married Christian was because, yeah, my boss James and people don't need another podcast to listen to, exactly. And that's what we said. Look, they don't need another podcast. What should we make? A pod? You podcast, I told I was I'm you know, you want to say what I'm messing with you, but like, but if the purpose of the podcast test is just to get listeners, then that's and that's not what you're doing. That's what I'm saying. That's what I was saying, was that you're not doing this to be like, Hey, guys, here's more content, exactly. But for us, like our holy discontent and honestly, the whole reason for us starting this podcast is the orphan crisis in America. I look at my screen to tell you this. The stat there's roughly four hundredzero foster kids in the United States today. Now there's also the same number of churches in America as well. So bow the same number of foster kids in America and churches. So imagine if we had every church, one family they stepped up into foster care or adoption. Imagine that Gospel impact we could have. Yeah, I mean, and we've made it easy. So, whether it's just wanting to learn, maybe you want a partner, participate, whatever it is, your level of what you want to do to help this out. If you text freedom, the word freedom, freedom, to the number eight three, three, three, seven zero, one, six zero, will actually get you started down that path to where we can see, we can see if if we can do something about that. It's what we're fired up about. Yeah, that's why we flee you down. Yeah, that's why we wanted to hang out with you the whole time you're down here. Not just that, I mean we level. They give if the text the number. What is that? What kind of resources? So, like if I'm a person looking to foster? Yeah, so we have partnered with lifeline children's services. Okay, so when you text that number, that's going to connect you with them and then they're going to actually be the ones. Yeah, connecting. It made sense to because it's something I want to do, like I've told every girl I've ever dated, like Hey, listen, adoption or fostering is like going to happen. Oh, that's awesome. So I genuinely didn't know that. Yeah, I mean, I have told every every girl that I've like hey, if that's not on your radar, then this aimer you. You don't get. You don't get this hot stuff. And why? Why is that something that is a passion for you? One I want to make sure that any girl that I, you know, am potentially going to marry. That sounds like I'm going to marry multiple girls. That's not what I mean. You know what I meant. Like we in I had to. I wanted to make sure pretty early on that it was a priority to care for for those that can't care for themselves, HMM, and to use the resource that I had, because, I mean I did I grew up middle class and privileged, you know, and it's a priority, because I don't like that statistic. I don't like the four hundred thousand kids because, I mean, you know how foster care system works. It's they bounce around from thing to thing, from home to home, and I just I think it's really important. One of the...

...biggest things for my life was my mom was a single mom until I was six and when when she married my dad, we did the whole adoption process and he wasn't my Stepdad. He became like he was my dad. He is my dad. I says what, he's still here, but like that was a big deal for me. I just remember that being like we did the adoption process. I remember going to the Court House. It was cool because there was a judge and all that stuff, but I remember that that meant something even when I was six, you know, of like that's my dad and and you know, every father's damn reminded like there was someone who walked out, but there was a guy who my mom was twenty two when she had me, which means my dad was twenty one when I was born, and so my dad was my age when he married a single mom, and I'm twenty seven and I lose my phone charger all the time, you know. So I couldn't imagine, I straight up couldn't imagine like, you know, stepping into them any he did, and that, like it just meant so much to me then and and now that I want to do that. I want to be a part of that. I want to be a part of stability for someone else, and so it's been a priority for me and I want to make sure that is I want to make sure a girl knows that going into it so it's not just like you would do this, she's like forget the kids. And the reason I ask what happens when when they text that number is that the reason a lot of people don't is because they don't know where to start and they don't know what to do. Like so there's a there's a church in Alabama, which I'll connect you to as well. But he was explaining to me that their biggest hurdle of getting new parents to foster was that they would always say, like what, we don't know anybody else's doing it, we don't see it this successful. They Google it and they just hear horror stories of it not working out, of like things being way more difficult than it is. And it really goes back to the community thing that we talked about before is that a lot of people might try to get into fostering or adopting and then when it gets difficult, they don't know who to call. They don't know anyone else who's doing it, and so that's what I think is really important about organizations like that is that that's the person they call, that's the organization that will help them and resource them, not only just with like here's a pamphlet of what to do, but also like, here are other parents who are in the same situation, who are stepping out and doing this as well and building that community. And so I think that that's, you know, again, it's not. It's more than a program of like a hey, you know, do this ten step thing and that's how life's going to work out. We need people to call when things are difficult and when things are out of our ability, and I think that's what a lot of people avoid or are afraid to step into. Fostering is because of that. Yeah, and I know that for me, God's been telling out my heart for quite some time and I did a mission trip in me and Mar and you're just surrounded by all these orphans and then from that to even just seeing the the movie about is like instant family are. Oh my gosh, I loved it, like amazing. Hated watch it with my girlfriend. Man, it was like, don't watch that with if you're in a relationship. Okay, don't watch that together unless you're both already on board, like because like we watched that together. We're not married yet. We watch that together and she's like crying at the end, right, and she just looks me like you want to start a family tomorrow. Oh, thank you, know, because I mean that's what you want to do after you watch it, and I mean from that to even like my fiance, Ashley, her brother and his wife. They are a Fonster family. So I've I mean we've only been dating less than two years and I've already seen multiple kids like coming through that house and you get to see these kids, meet these kids and you just see like, oh my gosh, like there's a neat because if it's not for families like her brothers Ryan, Ryan and Deborah, you know, doing that, then these kids are just in the system without a family or in a in a situation with a family situation. It's not good. Yeah, and so, like I feel like God keeps pulling on my strings. And so in James brought this idea to me. But she was ironic because in the Bible it's literally like James, the book of James that talks about he wrote it. I think he might have been the author of James. And I'm like Whoa, like we know how old he is. Yeah, but I think that, yeah, in all of that, I'm thinking to myself, okay, like is this a calling for me, like is this what guy's going heart and I remember thinking, what do I do? Because my local church that I attend, they're not talking about it, sure, and the you don't know where to start, you don't to do exactly. So even this like myself, like I looked into their stuff and I mean I never even knew that there was such a service as being able to create a system at your local church where you can have those families that are have either adopted or fostered, or even their...

...pregnant and they're not sure if they want to keep the baby or not. You can actually have set up groups where you can just pray for those people. Yeah, and and it's crazy because, I mean the rock climbing gym I go to, I'm talking to guys and girls that have fostered and adopted. I would have never known that. Yeah, until I bring up the conversation when they're like so, what do you do for a living, I'm like well, I'm starting at this podcast called young married Christian and this is what our mission is. And I'm like, Oh yeah, we've got a little girl, or Oh yeah, we got and you're like wow, there's a lot of people that are doing this and it would be nice to you know, if I maybe I'm not called to aught myself. Maybe I'm called to just partner with us, resource them, to restarts them. Yeah, because a lot of people think that it's either it's all or nothing. Yeah, you know, don't got to save the world. You know what to say the world, but you know, I did it. You're right. Yeah, you don't got to say the world, but you know, like you said, you wouldn't know that they had fostered unless you have those conversations. And that's that's really what I was trying to get to before, is that the heart of community is getting to know those things and getting to know someone beyond. We work at the same place or we go to the same church or we go to the same rock climbing gym or whatever, right and people think of ministry or, you know, loving Jesus as these categories of well, I sing worship songs and I read my Bible and I serve at Church and you know, and that's what I do. But really there are so many opportunities that God is moving in friendships like that, where you get to talk to parents who are fostering you get to talk to couples who are considering it. You to talk to MOMS who don't know if they're going to keep their child or not, and you say, Hey, there's options, there are things we can do, and I'm here to not only I'm not here to get you from point a to point B, I'm here to walk with you along this whole journey, and that's that's a really big thing. But like, okay, so you say this and these couples out there, there's got to be some amazing ones in your life, I'm sure, that are just killing it and you see him you're like, they're so happy. One day I hope Reagan and I can be like that. Do you have those couples? Who are they and what is it about them? What do you see anything that they're doing that maybe you know? Some of our listeners can be like, Oh yeah, well, add that to our list. First of all, absolutely avoid doing this with anybody on social media. So if you're right now thinking of couples, think of couples you tangibly actually know in person. Oh for because, yeah, I'm not thinking right. I want to make sure. I want to make sure because that's one of the things that I thought. I was like, Oh, yeah, there's like playing. But no, no, I'm thinking in your life, the people that no one right, no one's giving cred I wanted to clarify that too. I wanted to you know, and, but, and, even though, even if it's like it's doesn't have to be famous people. You know, I'm saying, right, I like about the Dave and Pam in your life. Then no one knows. But I'm saying, like, don't compare it to the instagram version of the people that you know. You know, don't look at your friends facebook page and Mick, wow, I wish I had a marriage like that. Okay, I'm saying like right now, if you're listening, the couples that you know in real life. Right. So, one of the couples that I look up to is my pastors, Jeremy and lean. They're ph now people very different personalities, and I love the way that they joke about how different their personalities are. One time we're at the church. This is what ours on staff there, and it was raining and their daughter had just turned sixteen and got our license. She was driving by herself in the rain and lean is just looking out the window and she's like she has not answered her phone and Jeremy just go. Should we worry about it? Says letting, like she he did that to make fun of it. Okay, but like they're able to go and she goes here. I I'm mean, but like they're able to and that's where I said before, is that, you know, she can own that part where she's stressing too much and outwardly leaking out her air anxiety, and he can lightly the kind of joke because she can acknowledge that about herself of like Oh, yeah, I there's nothing me worrying about. This isn't going to help her get home in the rain, you know. And and I loved watching that interaction. They probably don't remember that at all and but that's what that was one of the things that I like. I I like watching like watching them interact and and couples that can own their own stuff and are confident in themselves, because that the whole I was thinking about this the other day, the whole thing about intimacy. The reason that following Jesus is hard in a relationship is cause I thought about this when Reagan went to church with me on Sunday. We don't go to church together often because we live in different cities. Okay, and I remember saying there. I'm like, man, it's harder for me to get into worship today because I just snapped at her in the car on the way to church. HMM. So it's harder for me to raise my hands and because in my head I'm like, if I'm getting into worship right now, you know I haven't apologized to her for snapping in the car...

...yet, and so it's hard to go. Oh, I love you. Know, I see my friends doing this because I think so much of the stuff that I know my friends do and their relationship tips, because we'll talk about it in private. But a lot of the stuff that I want to emulate is the stuff that they I don't see. It's the conversations in before we went to church where I was like, listen, I'm sorry, I did that, and that's not something that I will ever see a couple do. But that's what I want in my relationship, is the ability to be humble in front of somebody, to be vulnerable and say I made a mistake, own and I'm owning your crap, and knowing that she's not going to go. Yeah, yeah, you did, Dude. You know, that's trust, that is that and that's and that's what I so it's hard to be like, oh well, those are the things I want to emulate. But that stuff that I saw my parents do, I saw my dad especially. We you know, we grew up. He grew up in a home where he's one of like seven siblings and he's the only one that's I. In jail, okay, and so help healthy relationships was not and my mom grew up in a broken home, and so, you know, arguments weren't small. It was kind of like we would all get frustrated. We push it down, push it down, push it down, and that we'd all blow up or whatever. And so we went to family counseling, all this things, and I watched as my dad started to like, I apologize, you are, how old when this counseling started? My Sophomore Year High School, two thousand and ten, so I was sixteen, and so I was going through that time. was like I hate these people, as my parents you know, and I'll but we're all going through family counseling and and something that my parents do, now that you know, I don't I almost said, like I wish we were done all along, but we had to learn this was my dad will come into my room and say, Hey, I'm sorry, I did that, and he's not like looking for me to be like I'm sorry that I broke the rules. He just saying I'm sorry I reacted that way and it wasn't with an expectation that I would own my crap to you know, because as soon as we're holding it over, like Hey, I'll own my crap if you own yours, that's not owning your crap right, you know. And so once, you know, my parents started to do that with each other and with us especially, they started to do that directly with us. That's something that brought us a lot closer together. Like just this past weekend, at its Easter weekend my parents house and we're playing baseball in the yard. I told my brother not to do something because I knew that it would hurt. And then and he accidentally did the thing. Like I told what we what was, I think mom, my nephew, was pitching, okay, me and I was catching and my brother grabbed a bat and I wasn't wearing any like, I wasn't like wearing a face mask or knee pass or that I was just with a glove, like tell him, don't hit you say that. Well, I told him, I said, don't swing at these pitches because you're going to foul on off and hit me. I said so, don't actually swing at it, and then he did, and then it fouled off straight in my kneecap and it hurt real bad and I said some words and then I blew and I yelled at him, and it might you know, my six year old nephews right there watching it all happened. You know, as you're yelling your favorite scripture as I'm just like Jesus, Mary and Joseph. I love the first family of the Bible and so but I had, you know, I had to go inside and say I reacted really poorly and I'm sorry. Yeah, and I think a lot of families out there, especially in the church, would like kind of hear you say counseling and be like, Oh, that's only when you've hit rock bottom. Yeah, maybe even rock bottom still don't go to counseling. Yeah, you know, and I feel like that's getting better. You know, I feel like the stigma around it is going away. A little bit. If for sure is I tenzero percent suggest a counselor for anybody. I go to counseling regularly still, because it's not something that it's like, Oh, I only go there when I need it. It's you or even Reagan's like brushing your teeth. You don't brush your teeth when they're starting to rotten fall out. That's so true and that's good advice. You know, somebody, you brush your teeth so that they don't write. Somebody need to hear that. Somebody, some somebody, need to put that on a pillow. I'll tell you what somebody. So you said you go to counseling just by yourself, or you and Reagan going to this counseling to we haven't done a couple's counseling yet, and so we'll do that and, you know, when we get closer to marriage kind of thing, that's exactly something to look forward to. Yeah, Hey, when you marry me, we can start counseling. Yeah, Hey, you know, that's our counselor now. Now, I've had the same counselor since I was in high school. So, like I've we went to we went we start a family counseling around the same time I started counseling. I have an anxiety disorder and so I've had...

...a counselor for what I guess eleven years now that I see regularly, and it helps to have someone who's not in the situation or in your real life. To counseling is more than just like we're, you know, spill onto somebody, because for me I didn't have the tools to healthily navigate my anxiety. I didn't have the the tools to when the Bible says we're newing your mind. I talked about it being a practice, right. I talked about the practice of finding joy and the practice those practical steps. That's what a counselor helped me form and help me find was, when I'm anxious, intentionally do these things, and that was something that I I think I went into counseling thinking this person was going to be like, okay, well, here's what you need to do, and that's not at all what it was was it was first of all led with empathy and then it was actual psychologically proven things to do in those moments, and so that was stuff that I needed and that's that's that's greatly helped me. And then my girlfriend also goes to counseling, and so it just helps to have someone you're not going to run into at the post office, to bounce things off of and to be completely open with because, like I said, it is it. Vulnerability is also a practice, it's also a muscle you have to exercise and it is really hard to be vulnerable with someone who who is there. You know it's hard. It's hard to be vulnerable with Jesus, in front of someone who did see you freak out the night before. Yeah, and you're saying a counselor has to be someone different than your the person, the guy that's discipling you, or your past or somebody that you know very well, like that that's something different, like sure. Well, first of all, counselors a trained professional, like. It's not, and you know they could be professionally trained in that. So you're saying there should be something different there. It shouldn't be. I don't. I don't see my counselor as like I have mentors. That's it. That's a different L yes, yeah, so, so make that very clear. Right. So we're like I've got I've got older men that I meet with and have breakfast with or coffee with or whatever, and you know, I talked to about my life and I am vulnerable with them, but a counselor is someone who is an actual psychologist. Yeah, it sounds like you're counseling was something tangible to your dad, had a big impact on your life in a whole family. Yeah. Yeah, let me flip that script and say, is there anything that you would do different, Hmm, than what your dad did or your mom is dad? Yeah, something different than your parents did that you want to do once you have kids? Yeah, we all think that, though, right, and like we're all like, well, I'm going to do that better. My kids aren't going to scream and fit for that toy. For Real, I mean seriously, we all think we're going to handle it better. And when I look back, like and then you're just handing twenty. Well, that's wrong. I'm your you know, I was the oldest sibling and I think you have something. Yes, I have to okay, older, younger, one older, one younger. Okay, so I'd be curious if your older sibling is jealous of you, because I'm jealous of my brother in that by the time my brother transitioned out of high school into college into like being an adult, my parents had already done that and been through that and so they were like cool. But for me that's a tough transition. That's really hard to do because you do have to and the same thing with my parents, like eventually I have to stop seeing my parents as the end all, be all voice in my life, because for twenty years they are that right and then now, as an adult, they aren't, and that's a tough transition, not just for me, because I have to be able to disagree and to be able to set boundaries and say I'm an individual person, but I also now didn't then, but now I understand that's really difficult for them because not that they have control, but really, especially for my parents, who struggle with control, to be able to give that up and allow me to be an individual person was difficult. So I feel like a lot of people listening are in that twenty to thirty year range and they're probably trying to figure that out. How do I go from my parents being the end all be all, you know, over my life to, you know, what's this adult relation? And I would be interested. I don't know I'm speaking as a person who's not married. I'm twenty seven and not married, because it seemed easier for my friends that got married younger. Not that you should, but I'm saying, like when my friends got married at twenty two, twenty three,...

...marriage obviously means you're an adult. Go do your thing. Is it marriage or is it kids? See, that's where I'm wondering, like do married people without children still feel like their parents don't treat them like full adults yet? And that's it is a weird transition and a different time and I hope that I can remember these things when it is time for my kids to leave the house, because there was a lot of pain that happened in that that time where, you know, I had my first serious girlfriend and we had talked about marriage and my mom didn't think I was old enough yet and that became a fight. Or I had my first you know, the time that I wanted to leave the church I grew up at and go to a different church, and it was kind of like, well, is that because your girlfriend says this about this, or is that because you actually think that? Or, and I think college students feel is too, of like Oh, is just because that liberal education at your school or is just because, and that's I hope that I remember that when that's my season, but I probably won't. And that's one. That's another thing I've learned too. I've learned to have a lot more empathy and understanding for my parents of like they've never had a twenty seven year old before. And so, yeah, we're all going to mess up. We're all and that's part of owning my crap to is I just go well, I messed up a lot and obviously we are all people just trying to figure this out. They're trying to figure out how to raise a kid. Yeah, was there anything in that House that they did that maybe something that they did that like created fun for the House, or maybe something that's in your head that you're like, Oh, when I become a parent, this is what I'm going to do to make sure that I'm building a fun environment, because I know they like the typical thing is, you know, family game night or sure, watching will of fortune. That was what my family did. That was like how we bonded. Was will of Fortune in American idol and survivor. Yeah, but is there anything that you have in your mind, because I've seen friends, I mean moving from Indiana and Kentucky area down to Orlando, like people live very differently down here. Sure, and it's outside the box. Like you go into a living room that doesn't have a television and I'm like what do you do in here and they're like, oh well, we have the stage, so when our friends come over, they actually will just get up there and play music and we just like hang out. I was like live music and there's a giant projector screen that's like showing Disney nature videos or something, and and we're we've got magicians around here doing magic, and I'm like wow, this is amazing. I've never heard of this. As far as my family goes, I think one thing my parents did really well was they championed my I'm gonna call hobbies. But like whenever I wanted to be a drummer and be in a band, my parents got me an electric drum kid because they want to listen to a real one. And so it is encouraging and also genius of the AH for sure. Yeah, they were not dumb, my parents. WHO's a drum set? Yeah, and then you're not allowed to play it and yeah, yeah, so anyway. But that was one thing my parents did really well was I was in a really bad band when I was like a sophomore in high school. Shout that no, and you know, and I we made bad music, but my parents supported it. My parents, my parents, championed my creative outlets and so and because of that, it gave me a lot of confidence to be creative and to be imaginative and to try things. And when I was a kid, I straight up wanted to be of Ventriloquist and my parents bought me puppets and you just had puppets in your room, not the creepy ones, you know, not the creepy like ones. I now know why you're terrified at anything scary, anything scary as that. I there, there, was there all the time. But like, so they supported what you want. was in a model trains, and me and my dad started to build one of those big model train things together. They they just created opportunities for me to do those things, and so I don't even know if that requires like a financial investment. You know, like when I wanted to to be a pitcher in baseball, my dad set up a thing in our front yard that I could throw the balls into, and we found these like styrophone balls that worked the same as baseball's that I could throw toward the house. That wouldn't hurt the house, obviously, but they bounce back. So that way I didn't have to have someone, you know and so like he kind of figure out those things about. Here go practice in the art here you go. Like they championed my initiatives and that gave me a lot of confidence as an adult to to do what I do now, because I guess I've just always assumed things will work out, you know, but I think that's that's one thing is they they gave me permission to do those things, and so I'm glad they did that, because now I give myself permission to do those things. Right now, my back porch, I inflatable hotub. You knew I was going to bring it up. You knew I was going to bring it up. So yeah, because it's a business expense, is a businessans. We report a podcast in it. But it was one of those things where I was gonna have a Lazy River.

We're straight up. Like a friend was like, you're they making foot will hot tubs, and as soon as she said it. I won't. I want one of those. And I just up and it was just kind of like I want to make a space for myself. And so I saved up some money, I put some aside and then, you know, I spent a few months putting some some money away and I bought a little TV to put out there and a hot tuff and I just did because it was one of those things I was like, it's okay for me to like not indulge, but to to do something that I enjoy. I have permission to do that for myself. So many people think that, like they put their time into things that they don't actually enjoy. Hustle, Hustle, hustle is what a lot of people want mmm to think that you know, hey, this is this is how I make it big. Just Hustle, Hustle. But you said something. We're like in the line for the Navy River adventure and you mentioned something about this Sabbath. Yeah, and it wasn't just like something I've heard before. Biblically like you, you have your own philosophy behind it and like working from that Sabbath. Hmm, can you, can you give our listeners just something about that? That give them permission, because I think there's so many people that need to hear that. Yeah, yeah, that's something that like radically changed my life. In two thousand seventeen was beginning to take a sabbath. Admittedly, in two thousand and twenty, every day felt like the Sabbath, so I got kind of bad at it up and that. But again, it's another thing that's a little bit like a muscle and training yourself to do those things. And so so for me, my Sabbath Tuesday. So Monday night I put my phone away, put my laptop away in my office. First of all. Every night I charge my phone in my office and I put it away at like thirty nine o'clock at night, so I have time before I go to bed to not be I used to like lay in bed and just be on my phone, like most Americans. Dude. I I would just, I would, I would fall asleep, scrolling instagram or whatever, yeah, and like, which is not good for you, and then I chan and then the alarms on my phone right so I would wake up, turn it off and immediately check social media. That's how I started my day. So telling people spend the ten dollars for the old. Get a stupid alarm clock, Dude. Yeah, a hundred percent charge your phone or another room. I have never slept better in my life. I'm and I'm not joking. I'm not like who the nearest slipt better in my life. I'm saying I've never slept better in you know, and so. So I already do that. And then Monday night, around dinner time, I put my phone away, I put my laptop away, I shut it in my office and I go to dinner by myself or with friends, whatever, it doesn't have to be, you know, to do an isolation thing. I just go to dinner and it's usually like an olive garden because I'm a guard dog. It's funny. No, I will grab dinner and then I like to read a lot. So, you know, I try to create some time, but it's really about creating space to like the walks, and and what Tuesday has become is just one day of a walk. I used, you know, quotes for that. Okay, Woka, Hando, egspress. No, but you know, I'm saying is like being intentional, about creating space to see God move, because one thing about the hustle is that it just doesn't create any space for creativity, it doesn't leave any space for you to breathe, it doesn't really even leave space for you to fail at something and it totally requires you to produce something. Then your whole life becomes about what you produce that day and if you didn't produce anything, you feel like a failure. So the Sabbath feels counterintuitive because you're not producing anything. That's literally the point, and the point of not producing something is to remember that your production is not your survival, that your production is not how you make it through the world, that your value and your identity is not a producer. Your value and identity is that you were known, seeen, loved and cared for by Jesus. And so it's not about like, Oh, I just want to have a day off. It's a God has given you the Sabbath for you to not to come rolling into it Monday night like, Oh my God, thank you, I can finally rest, but to create a space where you are reminding yourself like it's a whole day of yellow, it's a whole day of Oh yeah, God does care for me and see me, God has taken care of me. I don't have to take care of myself. God is meeting those needs, so I don't have to. Today. God is the producer, the caretaker, the giver, and I am receiving from him. And so instead of rolling into Tuesday like, Oh thank God I made it, I get to step into Wednesday out of rest. Instead of working to get to rest, I work out of a place of I don't need to produce. I work alongside God to unlock whatever that is that God has put into me and I create alongside with him instead of creating to get to him. Think it's as especially in the side they we're living in. It's like that's not how you get ahead.

It's people think that chickful is stupid for closing on Sundays. They're losing out on so much money. Oh, I've heard it so many times. Exactly like you, they just opened during like the Super Bowl. They'd make me, you know, all kinds of stuff and in the end, honestly, for me it does the opposite because Sunday all I'm doing is thinking of a chick fil a. So of those next six days, I'm there every day because I'm like with this could close at any time. I know but but more than anything, is that you're trying to remember the business insider article I read about it was not even a Christian thing, it was a it was like a business article, right. And they were talking about a stop day, is what they call it. A Stop Day where you just don't do any work, you don't answer emails, you don't think about work, you train your brain to not think about and be around those things, right, and they said that it can add up to a eleven years to your life. Okay, you got a calculator on this thing? I'm sure we get a calculators if I remember how to do the math on this, because it's pretty incredible. So you take one day off a week every year, right, that's fifty two days. Yep. Let's say you do that for eighty years. Right. How many days is that? So fifty two times eighty, that's like four thousand. Okay, so divide that number by three hundred and sixty five, like nine. So for every day that you take off, you're adding it to the end of your life. So he's they're saying that by taking a stop day, people live eleven years longer if they do this. So let's say that for your whole life. You take a day off of work, that's four thousand whatever days. Right. If you spread that out, that's eleven years. So for every day you're taking off of work, you're adding it to your life. I don't think that's on it. That was a business insider article. Yeah, they were like on average, like the people who take a stop day live eleven years longer on average. I don't think that's a coincidence that that many days adds up to eleven. I'm just that was that's weird. Right. So that feels like it's baked into our DNA. So I think that when you create space to one be alone, that gives you the opportunity to own your crap, right, because there's no way you can own your stuff without intentional introspection. There's no way. That's one of the things that's appealing about the hustle is that this is what I've produced, so therefore this is what I am. And so, because I don't have time, I don't have to sit there and go why am I doing this? Yeah, your whole identity is in what you're making. Yeah, you're setting out that. That is all. That is me. So when two thousand and twenty happens and you're no longer able to produce at the rate that you would. So many people last year I had an identity crisis, which is why I'm so passionate about community. Is that suddenly a lot of people who had their whole identity based on what they could produce couldn't produce anything, and so they had a full out identity of like who am I? What am I even doing here? What's the point? which created the all this animosity. These people were so angry, like let's go back to work, let's do the stuff, let us keep producing, because if I don't do that then I don't have value. And I think that the reason we saw a lot of Christians do it. Sorry, I'm talking fast with a passionate let's preach. The reason the Christians do it is because their identity is what they can do for God and what they can do for the for the Kingdom of God, instead of being a part of the kingdom, as far as I'm known, loved and seeing by God already, regardless of what I do. He doesn't need me to do that, like he wants to be with me, not he wants me to do something for him. I think that that resonates with me because a lot of times when you hear testimonies, I feel like it's a lot of this is the crap that I used to do. So it's like kind of glorifying the crab, and then the next part is and this is all the things that I'm now involved in, now the this is now what I am doing for God, and it, like a lot of times, just misses out on the whole point of just the relationship there. And I feel like that if you told that story of say, say you and Reagan are there at your wedding day and you're telling her your whole story, about your love story, is all the girls in the past and then you go into all the things that you do for her, that's not love, it's weird. That's very weird. Yeah, and so when you put that into context and and you kind of grasp like, like, God's not looking at you giving gold stars. Yeah, he just kind of wants you there. And a lot of the pain that I put myself through before was pain because I didn't realize that I was already loved and cared for. And so the love of God gives me a confidence that I walk Taller and I laugh harder. And so I think to the first question that you asked. If you're a couple and you're struggling...

...with how do we add laughter into this? Yeah, and I'm like, well, lower the bar, which doesn't mean lower the bar of who you're dating a little bit. No, I'm saying no, no, no, but look like the thing is that you're taking yourself so seriously, because often times the Times I take myself the most serious are the times when I am nitpicking myself and I'm so critical of myself because I'm sitting here trying to get it right. And the thing that radically changed my life was when I understood that God wasn't like waiting with his thumb over me for me to mess up and then just squash me, that God was waiting for me to quit trying to do it on my own and for me to say, God, I just want to be I want to be with you as much as you want to be with me, and that that rest that that offers by going on the walk and looking for the color, by setting aside a whole day to say this is this is the I'm going to look for that color all that. That's what this whole thing is. What it does is is it energizes the rest of your week that you'll see that popping up more and you can work from that place of rest. So that way your work isn't tainted by having to produce or having to prove something, but it's fueled by there's a God who cares for me and knows me. So now I'm free to work out of a place of being loved and not not a place of working to get love. Hmm Hey, thank you so much, Jarren, for being here, taking time out of your life to come down and go to Disney have some fun, but I was only here for Disney. That that hurts a little. I felt it in that giggle. You were like yeah, so how can our people listening in right now are watching? How can they find you? First of all, the blind date. There are let my girlfriend. You can watch our first date on Amazon prime. So if you got that, it's comedy, you can look up the blind date and that should pull that up. Also, instagram, ticktock, twitter. All that's just all at Jarren Myers. You'll be able to find me on there. I do a podcast that comes out every Tuesday called things are in last night. If you are struggling to laugh, please listen to our podcast because we'll laugh for you. That's the whole thing in Jack's laughter straight end, straight up all we do. If you don't think that I'm funny, right, that's fine, because I sure do and that's obvious in that podcast. Well, it's just so much laughing and so much hand so I think that you'd enjoyed a lot. But yeah, we put stuff out every week and you can message me on Instagram if you're a person that like listening to the conversation and you're like, Oh, you know, I resonate with that, or I want to hear more about that, or I've got book recommendations out the Wazoo. So message me on Instagram. I read all that. Don't message me mean things, though, I don't read those. Awesome. All right, y'all, we hope you loved that conversation. Here at Young Mary Christian we are on a mission to see a Gospel centered home made available for every single child in the foster care system. There are four hundred thousand kids in the foster care system and they are four hundred thousand churches in America. Y'All, the church can solve this problem. If you want to join us on this mission, text the word freedom to eight thirty three three three seven hundred one, six hundred, one hundred. And another thing you can do to help us grow the reach of this podcast is to leave a rating in apple podcast. It's super simple. Just go to the show's page, scroll down and give us a rating for this show, Debo. What's a good rating? Typically just count the fingers on my hand and then I click. That many stars. All right, so we're not telling you to give us a five star rating, but for the love of everything holy, it would help us ton if you win and give us a rating. I guess for that guy that has four fingers, just add one. Yes, you don't even have to leave a review, because, let's be real, that takes too long. Just go to apple podcasts and leave us a rating. Yes, but seriously, though, if you do nothing else, at least text the word freedom to eight three three three seven hundred one six one hundred and eight three three three seven out one hundred and six one hundred. Hey, three three three seven out one six one hundred and eighty three three three seven out one six one hundred and.

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